I’m stuck with who I am…. But I can be man enough to iron out the creases
Sam Worthington
As I go through this life there is one indisputable theme that keeps reemerging for me. That for some people their number one priority in this world is themselves and that everyone else is expendable. All that matters to these people are their beliefs of what is right and to hell with what effect their actions, choices or decisions may have on the individuals around them. People today throw the words “friend” and “love” around like a Frisbee in the park on the Fourth of July. Carelessly spouting these terms off with little to no meaning or genuineness behind them.
As for me, I never use them unless I absolutely mean them. Affairs of the heart are nothing to be taken lightly. Love is the quintessential expression of loyalty and faithfulness and should truly come with no strings attached. If anyone states that they love you because of….. I would really take a closer look at the relationship. We should love one another just because that’s what Almighty God wants us to do, not for some ulterior motive or due to some flight of fancy. For those of us that love without thought or regard for our own feelings; this is a cold, cruel world. I believe that we have unfortunately become a society that views truly loving someone as weakness or some type of mental condition in need a behavioral health care. When in fact those of us that love unconditionally are the sane ones. The ones that know who we are and Whose we are and live life as our Heavenly Father intends for us to. My faith dictates that I love everyone, even if that love isn’t reciprocated. Now that DOES NOT mean that I will be anyone’s doormat or emotional punching bag. Jesus Christ was the only perfect man to walk this Earth and even he got irritated enough to turn over a table or two. Nevertheless, His example is the one I have been raised to follow. His is the ultimate story of betrayal. I guess one of the many things that I have taken from the story of Jesus’ final days on this Earth is that you can’t put anything past anybody. One of his beloved disciples betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver. The very people that he came to Earth to give his life for, the very people that that welcomed him with praise and thanksgiving were the very ones when it was all said and done called for his death. Now if the people that had the most to benefit from the Son Of God would do that to Him, who am I to expect anything less….or better from the people around me.
Now please understand that this not me saying that people aren’t to be trusted or to not trust anybody. I’m just merely saying to be extremely careful of who you trust. Especially who you trust with the things that are most precious to you. I am simply saying don’t place lofty expectations on people that don’t even have for them for themselves. Some people think that just because they have a conversation with someone that they are their friend or that they can trust them with their most intimate of secrets. This is just simply not true. A lot of times people place high expectations and see unrealistic potential in people that they have respect for or they become fond of. Sometimes the person meets or even exceeds their expectations while at other times the person may leave you disappointed and even heartbroken. Ahhh such is life. Life is all about choices and living with the consequences of those choices. Once upon a time I sadly counted myself amongst these individuals, which leads me to my next point……
There are two kinds of people in this world, there are givers and there are takers. Givers … authentic givers … are benevolent because it’s just in them to be that way. They give without a second’s hesitation and most of the time will give you the shirt off of their backs without expecting anything in return. Then you have the takers. Takers are individuals that think only of themselves. Takers are individuals whose only thoughts and concerns are for their own best interest. Their feelings are the only ones that matter and the interesting thing about individuals that are takers, is that they can’t quite seem to understand that they are being egotistical or self centered. Here is an example of what I mean….
Giver: Hey I just bought a new TV and don’t have any need for the one I have now. Do you want it?
Taker: What kind of TV is it?
Giver: It’s a 32 inch TV
Taker: Is it a HD TV?
Giver: Yes
Taker: Plasma or LCD
Giver: LCD
Taker: What brand is it?
Giver: Do you want the TV or not?
Taker: I guess…
Giver: Ok, cool
Taker: So you gonna bring it to me?
Yes, I have had this conversation with someone in case you’re wondering. Instead of being cool with the fact that they are getting an HDTV for nothing, they want to give me the third degree about the rig like I work for Geek Squad. Now I don’t mind you asking basic questions about the set, but this person knows how I get down. I take care of my stuff. So the fact that you are interrogating me about this free TV that I could easily sell and make some cheese off of it left me a little salty. Needless to say I ended up giving the TV to someone else…someone more appreciative of the fact that they were able to get a “like new” HD TV set for ”the free”. My point is that you can truly miss out on a blessing “looking a gift horse in the mouth” as my dad used to say. Takers do this on the regular. Instead of being appreciative they choose to cling to their delusional sense of entitlement like someone owes them something. Here’s a little advice for those individuals that have a “taker” mentality ….. No one owes you anything. God gives us all free will. If someone does something for you, it’s more than likely because they want to, not because they have to. Then there are those individuals that swear that they are givers but only do so when it’s something in it for them. They may as well be takers.
The truly sad thing is that the world that we live in today glorifies the taker. Being benevolent is now seen as a sign of gullibility in some circles. Givers are regularly taken advantage of if they aren’t careful which in and of itself is a sad commentary on the state of today’s human condition. Once upon a time, people had a genuine sense of compassion for their fellow man/ woman. People would readily help a total stranger in their time of need without a moment’s hesitation. Our communities were safer because neighbors looked out for one another. Our schools were calmer because teacher’s hands weren’t tied by red tape and a lack of parent participation in the lives of their children. Our streets were less crime ridded and cleaner because everyone took pride in taking care of their community. I blame a lot of society’s issues on the ease of accessibility to things that once were thought to be out of reach or unattainable… a new home, nice vehicles, six figures or better compensation for playing a child’s game, attendance to the university or school of your choice, etc. This is especially true for “my people”. The “struggle” once kept us humble, appreciative, and benevolent. Our history once kept us grounded, responsible, obligated and driven. Sadly I have found that as I get older and view the generation that comes behind me, I fear that they have lost sight of both their ancestrial history and all too often take for granted the resources readily at their disposal. They have no clue of what sacrifices were made by our ancestors to allow them to have an equal opportunity to chase their dreams and become who they truly want or were meant to be. In my humble opinion I believe that if they truly understood what it feels like to be sprayed with water hoses, had dogs sicced on them, been spit on, beaten, berated, denied access to resources deemed public, saw their friends and loved ones hanging from trees or ever had a cross burned in their yard they would have a greater appreciation for every single thing that they have been blessed with ….. as I do. I mean the list of atrocities our ancestors had to endure in the pursuit of equality is endless. All because they wanted to be treated like everyone else and given an equal opportunity to chase the American Dream that so many other races and creeds have been allotted. I heard the stories and firsthand accounts from friends and family members that experienced all of these things. I have seen the historical news footage. There is no way that I will ever take the blessings and opportunities that my ancestors have bled, sweated and died for for granted. Unfortunately “generation next” does and it is extremely disheartening.
Disheartening because of the blatant disrespect that I see young people of all races, creeds and colors show towards their elders. When I was a child – even as a young adult - there was just an unspoken code of conduct. You respected anyone your senior. Your behavior changed around your elders. You behaved in a respectable manner when you found yourself around adults. Not now …. and I blame the parents. Children are impressionable and if your child is a hellion, all you have to do is look in the mirror. Kids emulate what they see. Kids especially emulate what they hear their parents say and what they see their parents and guardians do because they are the adults that they spend the majority of their time with. Parents and guardians are the blueprint for their children’s behavior. That being said…..if you want to change the behavior of your child… take a good look at what you say and do around them. Trust me it has a very profound effect on them. Now me personally… I don’t have any children. But I was a child once so I know a little something about parent’s behavior profoundly affecting a child. My dating habits are a result of the way I saw my father treat women. I’m domesticated because I saw my mother keep a clean home. I’m assertive because of the way I saw my father deal with people. My outlook on relationships is the way that it is because of the way I have seen the adult couples in my life interact with one another. Now granted I was blessed to be surrounded by some phenomenal adults when I was a child. My “old soul” comes from hanging around adults and staying in “grown folks” business all the time when I was a child. I matured extremely fast (to my detriment at times because in certain circles I didn’t “fit in”). First job at 14, paying bills at 16, carrying the household at 17… all of this made me responsible and focused when others my age were out sewing their “wild oats” as the old folks used to say. I have a new outlook on that word “old” too…. But that’s another entry for another time.
My light bulb moment ….
Let’s see ….. my Light Bulb Moment was the first time I realized that life’s most valuable commodity isn’t money …. it’s time. You see money can be replaced. However, once time is lost it’s gone forever. No matter what you do, no matter what you say and no matter how bad you want someone to understand that you have their best interest at heart, people are going to believe what they want to believe…. Even if that belief is absolutely untrue and unfounded. However, that is their God given right. We have all been blessed with free will and discernment – albeit spiritual or otherwise. To me a Light Bulb Moment represents a space in time when something happened that forever altered your consciousness. So as for me, I have decided to stop frustrating myself trying to convince people that I am not their enemy. Time is now an extremely precious commodity to me and I am no longer going to waste anymore of mine on people unworthy of it.
Light Bulb Moments are liberating and extremely therapeutic. They represent a paradigm shift in thought and consciousness. Once experienced, they all but force you to view a situation, place, person, etc. differently. If you embrace that moment and fully immerse yourself in the opportunity to see something for what it truly is… you will most definitely be the better for it. Now understand that Light Bulb Moments are not for the faint of heart. They are rooted in realism. They shatter glass houses. They leave you emotionally vulnerable. They eradicate all falsehoods and expose all untruths. If you don’t think you ready for any of these things …. A Light Bulb Moment is going to be horrible assault on your senses. Another issue with Light Bulb moments are that they’re random and you are likely to experience one at the most inopportune of moments. Some can make you smile and some rip you right down to the core of your very soul and will break you down if you let it. Nevertheless whatever the reaction, whatever the emotion… let it run its course. Emotions and feelings are indicators that you are alive. You should never allow anyone to make you feel like your feelings are unnatural or wrong. You’re human. You are unique. There is not another person like you anywhere on this planet or any other one for that matter. The only opinion that truly matters is the opinion that you have of yourself. The wonderful thing – for better or for worse – about Light Bulb Moments is that they are specific to the individual experiencing them and rooted in emotion so free your mind and open you heart to them. For when it’s all said and done, your life will truly be the better for having experienced them.
