In The Midst ©

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."

Deepak Chopra

Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word Midst. The one that truly stuck out to me for the purposes of today’s entry I have listed below for you:

the middle point, part, or stage (usually preceded by the):
Ex. We arrived in the midst of a storm.

As previously stated, there were a number of definitions that I could have used for this entry but I found this particular definition most relevant to today’s topic because of the example that followed the it.

We arrived in the MIDST of the storm..

I feel it’s worth noting here that in order to ever get to a place of peace, one must endure a countless number of storms. The most peaceful location within a hurricane is at it’s center. Now I’m no meteorologist or climatologist but, usually there is a whole lot of chaos preceding and following one reaching the eye of the storm.

I’m kind of getting ahead of myself though…...

More on that later.

Over the course of my life I have learned the following things:

• Never focus on any emotion or feeling for too long....Good, bad or indifferent.
• Being content for too long can make you complacent and unmotivated.
• Being passive for too long makes you bitter and resentful.
• Being optimistic for too long makes you naive and delusional.
• Being angry for too long makes you unfeeling and unsympathetic.
• Being sad for too long makes you depressed and hopeless.
• Being animated for too long leaves you tired and exhausted.

The point ...too much of a good thing can be bad for you while too much of a bad thing will definitely kill your spirit if you allow it to.

The key in my humble opinion is to find a quiet place somewhere in the midst of all of those feelings. Let them in ...but never let them stay. We were never meant to experience emotions over an extended period of time. This explains why we have so many of them. If we were meant to hold onto a particular set of emotions then we would have had those particular emotions coded in our DNA like hair and eye color.
I say all this to say that it's ok to feel certain emotions. All of them. What’s crucial is to recognize them for what they are, truly understand the cause of said emotion, fully experience it, take the necessary action to channel it into something useful and once the emotion has passed let it go in order to move forward with your life.

Yes….. we are ALL emotional creatures. I say all because women get the rep of being hyper emotional while us men are supposedly the calm, collected ones. Take it from me.... that is simply not the case. The only thing that separates men from women emotionally is a man’s ability to apply logic to his emotions on "the fly". I  must say though, i know plenty of women that have mastered this ability while i have found that some men severely lack it.

But that's another entry for another time.

We all must find a safe place within us. Meaning we have a place within ourselves where we can go when we seek happiness and peace. So many of us seek peace in external and tangible things only to constantly come up disappointed. That's because tangible things have a shelf life. It's the intangible things that prove to be timeless and more meaningful.

We must all find a serene  place in the midst of the chaos of our emotions. I  have found that meditation and prayer (the two can be mutually exclusive but i have found that they work well together) can aid an individual in this pursuit. However,  this requires a full commitment from us to the search for the sort of peace and serenity that we seek (which i might add is not for the faint of heart).  Trust me when i tell you....the more you seek to live a life of peace, the more hell you will experience before you eventually obtain it.  This is why it requires the utmost attention to detail,  discipline and determination to master one's emotions. Simply because we either learn to master our emotions or they will eventually master us.

Life’s storms have a way of either bringing out the best in us or the absolute worst. Believe me when I tell you that I have experienced both. The latter being the lowest point of my life while also proving to be the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to me. Only a select few will understand what I mean or how that is even possible. Yes….life’s storms will take the extremest of tolls on your psyche and well being if you allow it to. Which is why it is extremely important to never allow yourself to focus entirely on one particular emotion when things get hectic. See a lot of us tend to focus on the “dominant” emotion  associated with a particular life event. I say the dominant emotion because one can experience several emotions simultaneously. We just choose to focus on one. That one emotion usually determines our response to what occurs to us.

For example:

You have an argument with you spouse/ significant other before you head to work. Which sets you in a particular mood.You replay the argument subconsciously over and over in your head throughout the day. Instead of putting the issue aside to address later and going on with your day, you choose to dwell on it. Suddenly, things that you wouldn’t think twice about or wouldn’t even pay attention to begin to irk you:

You’re not as social as you usually are with people. That one coworker that you can usually ignore is tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines. You have a “bad” day at work. The commute home was “hellacious”. Your bag falls open in the driveway on your way into the house which frustrates you. You and your spouse/ significant other walk by each other in silence for the entire evening...well at least until he or she does something that you don’t like.

Your day probably could have gone so much better had you “compartmentalized” your anger and not let it affect your attitude for an entire day. Somewhere during the day you had an opportunity to take a step back and reset. The problem is with many us is that we never do mainly because we don’t have a “safe” place within us. Our situations are only as bad as we determine that they are or we allow them to be. Peace and Serenity requires a positive response to negative stimuli. Now I am not delusional. I know that some days this is most definitely easier said than done. Especially in the society that we live in today. People are so emotionally oblivious or intentionally cruel to one another now. I mean the level of disrespect that people show one another is ridiculous. This requires us to be proactive and vigilant when it comes to our own happiness.

Benjamin Franklin said it best:

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The only person on this planet that is truly concerned about your happiness and well being on a consistent basis is you. Yes...we have family. You may even be blessed enough to have a boatload of friends. Nevertheless, they can not live your life for you and they have lives of their own. We can’t expect others to give us what we truly need and want for ourselves. It is our job to make ourselves happy, not someone else’s. Individuals have to accept the responsibility of improving their own quality of life and for finding the peace and serenity they so desperately seek. That being said, the only place where I have personally determined that peace can be found is in the midst of a stable environment. Peace is a by product of structure and order. Chaos serves only to remind you of what an environment is like void of peace. It is never meant to become the standard. Unfortunately for so many of us, chaos and confusion is our modus operandi. Individuals that live this way never have lasting peace. Every time they get it, they intentionally or unintentionally disrupt it. Some would rather sabotage their own happiness for fear of acknowledging the way that they have currently chosen to exist is toxic. That would mean acknowledging that something needs to be corrected. Heaven forbid. I mean after all …..it’s not you…...it’s them. Right?

But i digress…..

As for me....Life has taught me that in the midst of my pain and sorrow.... I find peace. Why? Well for several reasons. First. i know it’s only temporary. Second, I know that He that is greater than I am and ever could be will work everything out for my good. Thirdly, i know that once the pain is gone, i have learned the lesson and my wounds have healed….. that greater is coming. That’s how I cope. That’s my “safe" place within. It’s up to you to find yours. The sooner you do, the sooner you can obtain all of the best that life has in store for you.

Your destiny is tied to your peace. I honestly suggest you start the search for yours today.

It’s never too late.

No ….it won't be easy.

But it will most definitely be worth it.

Vexation ©

What is the life of man! Is it not to shift from side to side? From sorrow to sorrow? To button up one cause of vexation only to unbutton another?  

Laurence Sterne

A Google search of the word Vexation gives you the following definition:

the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.

I think that it’s safe to say that any rational thinking individual has found himself or herself in this state more often than not lately. Vexed by the ever increasing attacks on people’s civil liberties. Vexed by the disconnect between elected representatives and their constituents. Vexed by male lawmakers weighing in on a WOMAN’s right to choose.  Vexed by the US interest in the business of countries half a world away while it’s own infrastructure is in decay.Vexed by the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States (If any of the previous 43 presidents had suffered the sort of indignities being tolerated by the current administration the perpetrators would have been labeled as traitors and dealt with accordingly).Vexed by the seemingly blatant disregard for a people’s inalienable rights promised to them by the US Constitution. 

For the uninitiated:

inalienable

adjective

1. The definition of inalienable is: unable to be taken away or to be given to another.

Ex. The right to life and liberty are examples of rights that are described as inalienable.

Now just as taxation without representation was championed by the colonists that founded this great nation of ours to prevent unfair governing practices and demand  impartial treatment from those in positions of authority across “the pond”, we as a new generation of pioneers and trailblazers must demand clarity surrounding the things that have an impact (albeit directly or indirectly) on our quality of life. Now let me be clear, vexation without clarification  is about as bad if not worse than taxation without representation. For you see vexation without clarification leaves room for misinterpretation and assumptions to cause breakdowns in communication. It also allows for loopholes to be created that allows the haves to persecute and hinder the growth potential of the have nots causing a distrust of authority which in essence sows the seed of disenfranchisement. 

Need some examples? 

Sure thing….

Baltimore, MD - The disenfranchised made their anger with and distrust of authority perfectly clear. They are still picking up the pieces. Don’t be deceived. Baltimore’s struggles started way before the Freddie Gray incident. That incident just simply provided the spark to light the fuse on an already combustible environment.

Ferguson, MO - Blatant racial disparities that have caused tension between the residents of this city  reached a fever pitch with the murder of an unarmed teenager by the name of Michael Brown (May he rest in peace). Now sadly enough, the residents of Ferguson were more outraged than surprised. Which in and of itself is a testimony of just how desensitized the rest of the American Populace has become as it relates to race relations in this country. The ability of a law enforcement agency to operate in a manner that deprives residents of this city of their inalienable rights and even in some cases their lives with total and absolute impunity speaks volumes about just how dire our nation’s straits have become.

Detroit, MI - Government misconduct drove the city into bankruptcy leaving the poor and disenfranchised to pay for the sins of those in authority. If the powers that be had been more concerned with keeping jobs in the city and maintaining their status of an Automotive industry juggernaut instead of lining their pockets for their own personal gain, the city’s current dilemma could have easily been avoided. I mean come on...How do you not try to save a city that gave you Joe Louis, Motown and the Mustang.

Chicago, IL - Easily on it’s way to becoming the murder capital of  the country with no end to the killing in sight. Chicago is an example of what happens to a city when the disenfranchised’s hopes are extinguished (as is the case with the other aforementioned cities). While other sectors of the city appear to be flourishing, there is still a segment of the city’s residents that have  become collateral damage of the continuing struggle that rages between the haves using up every available (and sometimes unavailable) resource at their disposal while the have nots just try to hold on to what they have. If Chicago city officials aren’t careful, they may be the next city to witness an anguished outcry as recently witnessed in the cities of Baltimore and Ferguson.

But I digress….

Now in order to keep down confusion and avoid unnecessarily vexing others, I’m careful with the words i use  and for what I believe are three very important reasons:

• Words once spoken can never be taken back
• Words have the power to alter destinies 
• Oxygen is precious and should not be wasted

Thomas Jefferson (One of the founding fathers of this great nation of ours) put it best : The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. In order for us as a country to get to a place where resources are properly distributed amongst the masses - Notice I didn’t say equally distributed, that will never happen in my lifetime. Not being cynical, just realistic. For those of you still waiting on that 40 acres and a mule, i suggest you move on from that school of thought. Other cultures that now call America home  have circled the wagons and are working collectively to control their own destinies by becoming economically responsible and influential by letting their resources do the talking for them. These cultures are quickly  making strides and progress for their people by supporting one another and showing a unified front when an assault on their culture arises whereas sadly certain cultures and races (one in particular) haven’t made nearly as much progress in almost quadruple the time.

Which brings me to a particular topic that has vexed me ever since I became old enough to read. In case you’re wondering…. that is a very long time...

Race.

The debate on the status of race relations in this country has me totally exhausted.  Every time i turn on a television set, pick up a newspaper, flip through a magazine , or log on to a social media site i see indicators of just how fragile the state of race relations is in this country truly is. I don't have to list them. You see them just like i do.

Well i’m exhausted.

People say we're regressing back to a time of segregation and racial divide.  I  say the division never was properly addressed in the first place. In order to regress back to a former state, the environment in question has to have disappeared or improved. Now while there have been great strides made in equal opportunity for those of different races, creeds, colors and orientation….. as long as there are individuals harbouring animosity towards  people's differences and individual’s God given right to live life as the Most High has seen fit to bless them with and the US Constitution has guaranteed them,  we as a society will never move past the plateau of ignorance that currently restricts us from moving away from a painful bookmark in the annals of this nation’s history.

Now I know what some of you are going to say, here we go again. Someone spouting off an opinion about discrimination against blacks and white privilege....as if we don't have enough folks out there spewing their opinions all over the place.

I couldn't agree with you more.

But i hate to break it you.... racial discrimination is real and so is the idea of white privilege. I mean a dialogue is necessary. Now i don't WANT to have it. As a matter of fact, i just want everyone to go to their corners and chill for second. My ideal state of existence would be one where people's skin color, sexual orientation, address and zip code or financial status didn't dictate how they were treated. My idea of a Utopian society is one where people are not automatically labeled as something just because of  their appearance or "presentation". Where people are allowed to be themselves free of society's attempts to kill their individualism and their spirit. And be not deceived... racism and classism strike at the very heart of individualism.

For the uninitiated:

Racism 

the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

Classism

prejudice against or in favor of people belonging to a particular social class

Now,  I am not an expert on race relations in this country. I do however pride myself in having an open mind and an unbiased perspective due to having an understanding of the fact that the two aforementioned items (discrimination and elitist principlism) tend to be at the forefront every decision made (or not made in this country).

Now, as for me…. i personally am sick of ALL of it. The endless discussions pertaining to racial divide, the blatant disrespect of various segments of this society's culture and history, the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States because the current occupant just happens to not look like the previous forty-three, the killing of unarmed citizens by poorly trained law enforcement officials (we'll just roll with that for now.... but trust me.... I'm not delusional ), the perpetuation of incendiary rhetoric by our "media outlets" to keep our fears and people's hatred front and center  as well as the constant trolling of the ignorant and uneducated on social media. The droves of people willing to march for numerous of city blocks for “justice” but unwilling to extend a hand in friendship to the cat living next door. The hypocrisy of our “leaders” who speak loud and carry a big stick...well….. at least until they start making their sponsors uncomfortable.

I'm sick of all of it. I'm tired of discussing it. When does this ride stop. 'Cause I'm ready to get off. The unfortunate thing is that society won’t let me get off. As bad as I would like to. You see I’m born with a rep. As nice a person and upstanding citizen as I attempt to be, I will always be immediately characterized until I open my mouth (If I get the chance).... And even then there is no guarantee that my word will alleviate your worst fears. 

I think the thing that vexes me the most is the fact that all of the aforementioned things are regularly entertained by or tolerated by people. Heaven forbid  if you decide for yourself that you no longer wish to tolerate or entertain people’s foolishness. Then you are somehow labeled as mentally disturbed,  antisocial, socially awkward or worse. Being an individual thinker makes you a target of those that have chose to surrender their individuality and in some cases their logic. A wise person told me long ago that common sense is not really that common. I didn’t know exactly what they meant when they first said that to me. Now I absolutely understand the message they were trying to convey. One or two minutes of scrolling through your social media news feed or 15 minutes of watching your national as well as your local news and you will understand as well. It’s absolutely laughable what passes for the “right” thing these days:

• Duct taping a dog’s muzzle shut 
• Using glue as lubricant for sex (No….. I didn’t make that up)
• Politicians saying that they wish they had said they were transgender in high school so they could have showered with girls (Kind of wish I had made that up...but alas i did not *sigh*).
• Calling a transgender woman heroic (Others have done it way before they did with no fanfare to speak of)
• A church allowing their minister to purchase a 65 million Jet (Jesus rode a donkey, sir… a borrowed one I might add)
• The Charlie Challenge (Jokes on all of you that tried that ish. It was a marketing ploy for an upcoming movie).
• The “Hold a Coke with your Boobs” challenge (No explanation needed)

And the list goes on and on…. and on…..unfortunately.

Sometimes I just want to ask people….. so you thought that was the right thing to do, huh. I would actually wait for a response. I mean seriously, the stuff that passes for socially acceptable behavior worries the ish out of me. I wouldn’t even be able to handle non socially unacceptable behavior. Might even make me holla for my homies Smith and Wesson to give them 44 reasons to get some act right. Today’s society is full of disrespectful, rude, self-centered, narcissistic, and outright evil people. I mean just look at the headlines. Now granted, the media basically sensationalizes everything for ratings and website hits, but still some of the crap that people do these days defies sense and sensibility. Don’t believe me? How about a parent disciplining their child getting national attention. A teacher trying to maintain order in his class by disciplining an unruly child gets him a child cruelty charge (Man….where was this ish when I was in grade school), a man choosing to become a woman gets more attention than a man practically bringing electricity to over 600 million people in a third world country.

Need I go on?

Didn’t think so….

It is a sad, sad commentary on the state of rational thinking in this country….Hell I would even venture say across the globe. It’s no wonder there are nations around the globe that have an unspoken hatred for (However, some actually have been quite vocal as of late) towards our nation. Now, don’t color me as unpatriotic or my rhetoric as treasonous. I just believe in not ignoring the obvious. Call me the Elephant Whisperer. For the record……. I think that mofo is more Fuchsia than pink.

I’ll let that one set in for a sec….

So yes! A brother is vexed to say the least. However, just because one is vexed doesn’t mean that they can allow their vexation to turn into cynicism or skepticism. Now granted one has to be realistic when looking at the events of today in order to correctly understand the actual state of things in their environment. Nevertheless, this doesn’t have to cause one’s conscience to become seared. The minute we allow ourselves to become numb to what’s going on around us, is the minute when society’s moral compass becomes practically ineffective. I.e., it becomes ok to view things as normal that were once considered taboo. It soon becomes acceptable to take what you have no right to simply because you want it having not put in any sweat equity. Soon the definition of love becomes conditional upon your cooperation with things that fly in the face of what it means to truly love someone. Soon one’s words and actions regularly don’t align and this is deemed acceptable. Soon our children’s disrespectful behavior towards their elders is overlooked by their “parents” and as deemed ok or “cute”…..until they end up at the end of drawn weapon of an individual that has no regard for their life or their future. 

It’s high time that people of all races, creed, color or sexual orientation become more responsible inhabitants of this planet. Whether we all believe it or wish to accept it we are all connected. This universe we live in is vast and apparently infinite. We tend to occasionally act as if we are “it” in the universe. We reside on a pebble (Planet Earth) in a pond (The Milky Way)….surrounded by a lake that outflows into an ocean. Let that sink in for a minute. Now put that in perspective. The closest planet to us that even closely resembles ours is said to be 13 light years away (That’s far away in case you were wondering). So...no. I mean big up to Richard Branson and everyone trying to build space shuttles and what not but ummmmmm….. it’s not like another “Earth” is up the block. That being said, we as a species (just in case it’s lost on some of you that read this ….we are all human beings) need to do a better job of getting along on this little blue marble we’ve been blessed to inhabit. I mean after all...it is LITERALLY all that we have. Now granted,  we as a species have been extremely irresponsible with old Mother Earth. I mean down right disrespectful. I don’t have to call the roll. We know how we’ve mistreated and continue to mistreat her. We just need to do better. All of us...myself included. Trust …. i know my carbon footprint is ridiculous. A brotha is working on it though. And that in essence ladies and gentlemen is the key. We all have to do our part to make this world we live in better for us having been a resident of it. Every environment that you enter should be better  for you having been there both literally and figuratively. See trash on the ground? Put it in the trash can (These days it’s usually laying next to the trash can anyway...smh), Unplug the charger, turn off unused lights, carpool, recycle or perform a random act of kindness every single day (What you consider insignificant may just make someone’s day). The ways in which an individual can make this planet a better place for themselves and those around them is virtually endless. I promise you making the world a better place is not as difficult as one may think. It’s just a matter of everyone simply doing “their” part. Don’t you ever - even for one second- think that your contribution towards making this world we live in better for all is meaningless. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

One of the most lauded and influential Football Coaches of all time said it best:

Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work - the late great Vince Lombardi

The fortunate thing about vexation is that it usually precedes change. We as humans tend not to make an effort to change something that we don't like until it gets on out nerves. So embrace the anxiety. Use it to make the positive change you need to make in your life. Anxiety and nerves are only counterproductive when the energy is not put to use. SO! Is where you are in life making you uncomfortable? That mate, job, situation, condition tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines? 

Good.

Vexation often leads to audacity.

So I leave you with this question....

How bold are you?