The Light ©

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness – The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

In light of recent events the world over; I felt compelled to write about some things that I have observed in today’s society as of late. 

Sadly, there just seems to be an absolute lack of respect for human life. From the Navy Yard Shootings, to the recent killing spree in Chicago, to the Nairobi Kenya Mall Massacre, today’s school shooting in Reno ...death and destruction almost seem to be the rule of the day. In this writer’s humble opinion, the armies of darkness have stepped up their game. They have commenced an all out blitz in an effort to stamp out those individuals who  strive to live in the light. Now granted this is nothing new, I think it is the boldness and audacity in which these individuals operate now is what stands out the most for me. This brings me to the topic for today’s entry.

As a servant of the most high, I am well aware of the mandate to which I have been required to follow. My mandate - as with every servant of the Most High - is to be a beacon of light where darkness is present. The light I emit is not for me, it is for those who are trapped in darkness. How do I stay so positive when all around me are determined to be negative? Simply because I was once a cellar dweller. The light scared me.  Once upon a time I was in absolute ease living in the dark. Now just for clarification, the darkness to which I refer doesn't just refer to the condition one finds themselves in once the lights go down. Darkness can also represent a state of consciousness (or lack there of) whereas light can not only represent your enviornment once an area is illuminated but can also represent an individual's mindset once they have in some form or other recieved enlightment mentally or consciously. The thing about darkness that makes it so appealing to some is that your flaws are easily hidden. However once one is exposed to the light, they have to confront that which was once hidden. It is this aspect of the light that tends to make individuals uncomfortable. No one likes having their flaws exposed. It may even cause an individual to live a life of guilt and extremely harsh self criticisim until they realize that not a soul on this planet is perfect and the only opinion that truly matters is an individual's opinion of themselves.

Merriam- Webster online defines it (one of many definitions) as a spiritual illumination while another online resource defines it as a natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible. While those definitions are closely aligned with the theme of today's entry, I personally (for the purposes of today's entry) have a slightly different take on it's definition.  

The Light…

It illuminates one’s environment and if it catches one off guard it will force one to adjust their vision. Thankfully, light and darkness cannot coexist. One eventually snuffs out the other... For better or for worse. I know because I have been enveloped by both. I have found comfort and solace in both. I have even tried to defy physics and make both coexist. But as the Word of God says….. No one can serve two masters. It is virtually impossible. Take it from me folks, I tried that life. It was the most exhausting and self destructive season of my life. I expended way too much energy and once it was all said and done, had absolutely nothing to show for all of my effort.  The funny thing is that the company you keep sometimes prevents you from seeing exactly how dark things may have become for you. After all misery loves company. Now granted,  it is much easier to run with the crowd than it is to stand on your own principles and be a free thinking individual with your own moral code.  Yes, yes…. Darkness has its perks and makes strange bedfellows (Sometimes literally). You may find yourself making alliances with individuals that you know good and hell well should not even be in your circle. You may even find yourself doing and saying things that you never thought you would never say or do.  For a spell, you may even “fly under the radar”. Nevertheless, eventually what’s done in the dark eventually comes to light. The thing about dwelling in darkness and operating from a place of negativity or pessimism is that it does more harm than good. Not to mention that you also run up a seriously high Karma tab…. And eventually one day you are going to have to cash out. Be not deceived, Karma is not a respecter of persons. Anyone can find themselves at its mercy and from my experience if you don’t make an effort to right the wrong committed it will dog you until you do. Karma is extremely persistent and doesn’t really care about your attempts at denying the truth of things. When that bill comes due….you are gonna have to pay it. Either voluntarily or involuntarily. It’s your choice. Voluntarily has always worked for me. Involuntarily just came with too much damage control and with a tremendous amount of collateral damage.

Regretably, society today seems to reward the Cellar Dweller. People with innovative ideas are generally persecuted by people who feel like their stock will drop if they adopt the new modus operandi. “Shine Blockers” as one of the fellas I use to mentor calls them. People who would rather exist in a dysfunctional situation than implement a new and more efficient way of doing things simply because it wasn’t their idea. Yeah…. I have most definitely dealt with my share of “Shine Blockers” in my day.  We actually all just witnessed this played out on a global scale. The Whole drama surrounding the Government Shutdown and the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare).  The fact that you have group of people elected to represent the American People’s best interest completely shut down the US Government because they do not agree with the President’s vision of Healthcare of every American all but to me represents “Shine Blocking” at its finest. I mean honestly, there has not probably been a better example played out politically on an international scale within the last decade or two. I think the thing that really just makes the whole melodrama completely ridiculous is the fact that the damn bill became a Law and was implemented on schedule. Well minus the Website glitches, but that’s common for a Federal Website. Take it from someone who has accessed several and currently accesses them daily (That is unless you work for the NSA, CIA, FBI or DARPA). Shutting down the government did nothing to impede the ACA’s implementation and most of those individuals that qualify for the coverage that I have spoken to have nothing but great things to say about it. How does this relate to today’s topic? The fact that America’s elected representatives would rather see individuals out of work (even temporarily), block a measure that would provide health care to individuals that are currently without it (and with the amount of intensity and conviction that they exemplified whilst doing so I may add) all but confirms what I have come to fear…… that there is a serious void of consciousness and humanity roaming the halls of America’s Legislative Branch.  This in my humble opinion is an example of the forces of darkness hard at work being funded by the American Taxpayer and elected by its populace. That’s right…. Some of you that are reading this put some of those knuckleheads in office. Then there are those of you that didn’t even go to the polls. If you are in this number, please …please ..please don’t complain about how inconvenienced you were by the Shutdown or anything that has occurred since the last election. In my humble opinion, you don’t even have the right. That right is reserved for those that chose to participate in the political process, regardless of how flawed it currently may be.  Now granted, Democracy in its current state is a faulty product. I constantly find myself asking how our government can legitimately try to convince other nations to subscribe to our brand of Democracy when it is not even working for the Citizenship of the United States of America. We need to correct the flaws within our own system before we can try to pawn it off on others. How can you try to give advice to others when your current state of the union is dysfunctional at best. I have never been able to understand that logic. Yet daily we see it happening. Not only on the world stage but right around the corner from you. Hell…. maybe even in the next room.

The society we live in today is full of individuals who lack vision and purpose. In my humble opinion that causes two (but not limited to) things to occur: 

Hopelessness rears its ugly head and you see increase in activity that lacks compassion and empathy of individuals towards their fellow man/ woman. The Mass Murders, Genocide, Child Cruelty, the abuse of authority and perceived power, etc. People become more cynical and critical of those that have been blessed enough to discover their purpose and are currently in pursuit of making their visions a reality.  You see…. My life experience has taught me this:

Those who can’t do teach. Those who can’t teach do. Those who can’t do or teach become critics.

Yup. I said it. 

Simple as that.

If you read the aforementioned statement and find it lacking, it is more than likely because you fit in the last category. I could be wrong. After all, I’m not perfect either. Truthfully, on some days, I am a hot a** mess. But I know who I am and Whose I am and that allows me to embrace who I am with absolute totality. Flaws and All. To me that sums up people who try to criticize and discredit people who are out here giving their all to making this world we live in a better place. The critic unfortunately has not discovered who they were placed on this little blue marble to be. They more than likely are living according to a blueprint that someone created for them instead of trusting the Most High’s divine design for their life. Those individuals that have discovered their life’s purpose are too busy trying to share their light with the world to be critical of other people’s efforts.

Then there is the other side of the coin, those that are so busy trying to hold on to what they have that they disregard their duty of being a blessing to others. These people are so set on keeping what they have that they rarely share their resources and will go out of their way to make sure that you don’t ask them for assistance. You see they miss the whole point of them even having the sort of access that they have to what they have been blessed with. Yes…… I said blessed with. Even if you do not believe as I believe, you have to acknowledge the fact that there is something in this universe bigger than you that has provided you with the ability to obtain what you have. However, in the event that you believe as I do, the Word of God implores us to be cheerful givers:

Each one of us must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. – 2 Corinthians 9:7

In this life it is basically a proven fact that you ultimately reap what you sow. You get what you give is usually the way I phrase it. One of the unfortunate things about our society today is there aren’t enough cheerful givers within it. You are more likely to find an unrepentant taker in your midst that someone that finds joy from sharing their resources with others (which at times for this writer, the former proves to be a tad bit disheartening). Those individuals who strive daily to stay in the light and not succumb to the darkness that envelopes them share their resources with those in need. Even the slightest showing of benevolence can brighten someone‘s day in ways that you could never imagine. I personally try to do a random act of kindness everyday for a total stranger. Not because I need or even want gratitude, but simply because I know what it’s like to see God at work in people’s lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when a total stranger assists me that it’s the hand of God in it. So who am I to reject an opportunity to allow the Most High to use me to improve someone’s quality of life in some manner? If it’s nothing but a kind word to someone who appears to be having a horrible day or giving money to...even buying a meal for a homeless person, we all have the ability to provide a ray of sunshine to someone shrouded by the occasional overcast conditions caused by despair and hopelessness. I hear so many people constantly making reference to how crazy this world has become. How the world was so very different not all that long ago. I have to disagree. The world is the same. It’s people’s attitude toward it and the growing gap between civility and the human condition that has changed. There is no respect of persons and/or their property any more. No one respects “the grind” any more. What I mean by that is that “paying dues” is now seen as trivial. Unfortunately “generation next” has an unwarranted sense of entitlement as if everything should be handed to them and that they don’t have to put in work. There is a lack of respect for history and the accomplishments of those that have come before us. The trailblazers that make it possible for those who now enjoy the spoils of our ancestor’s labor to make all of their wildest dreams come true. Ingenuity and innovation is seen by some to be radicalism or extremism. Now granted… there are some people out there that in the name of innovation are doing the damn most. Nevertheless in today’s society, perception is everything. There is a saying that I just for the life of me can’t subscribe to that states P"erception is Reality. I find it hard to subscribe to this school of thought because one’s perception is rarely void of emotion and bias. Reality is reality. Not one's perception of it. One person’s Alpha Male is another person’s asshole. It’s a fine line between being champion for change and a terrorist. Just ask the founding fathers of this great nation of ours.

Thomas Jefferson said it best:

The Tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of Patriots and Tyrants.

If I were to venture a guess, I seriously don’t think that the Boston Tea Party was meant to be a mixer or a Black Tie Affair (unless you were a part of the resistance). Nelson Mandela is embraced as a contributor to the current state of affairs in South Africa and towards the abolition of Apartheid, but at one point was considered public enemy number one and imprisoned for and as a result of his efforts.  Then there was this Fella I believe that some if not most of you are sort of familiar with that walked this Earth ohhhhh about a couple millennia ago.  Some considered him to be the ultimate “rabble rouser”. His example to me is the most remarkable though. Praised for being the Savior only to be betrayed and denied by his closest allies then Crucified for being the very Savior that the masses had praised only days before.

Talk about fairweather friends and fickle folks….  Goodness!

But I digress….

Now thanks to the availbility of ridiculous amounts of information courtesy of the internet, there are all types of media available out there celebrating individuals, organizations  and grass roots groups like the Freedom Riders, the NAACP, the National Women’s Suffrage Organization, Rainbow/ Operation PUSH, Greenpeace and the like that during some point of their existence were vilified for “rocking the boat”. Change meets the fiercest opposition when it is misunderstood or has the potential to dethrone those in power. This is most exemplified in the manner in which society (Mainstream media primarily) tends to demonize a lot of the grassroot movements serving as change agents in today’s society much like they did to those aforementioned groups a couple sentences back (Shout out to The Occupy Movement, The Arab Spring Movement, Public Citizen, Human Rights First, Sierra Club and any and all organizations striving to improve the quality of life of individuals the world over).Thankfully, there are people out there that are genuinely trying to make the world a better place. The unfortunate thing that there are individuals that are just fine existing in total dysfunction and chaos. It is also these people who usually tend to be the ones that put forth the fiercest opposition to any individual or any group making a sincere effort to be change agents for the greater good of society as a whole.

Ok... now this next section may make some folks a tad bit uncomfotable but i promise if you stay with me you may possibly find some truth in what follows and possibly be all the better for having read it.  

Now ..... I just want to take this opportunity to implore you to when at all possible to be the source of positivity in your environment. The daily grind can at times be overwhelming in and of itself. Which is why it is so important to be civil and empathetic those in your circle. You never know when someone may need your encouragement or support to help them through a trying season of their life. Even if you do not believe as I believe, I honestly believe that it is our mandate as human beings to be a source of light wherever darkness is present. Now be not deceived, there are some evil people in this world. Their sole purpose in life is the annoyance, discomfort, aggravation, irritation and unnecessary provocation of individuals going about the business of minding their business. I call them the People Under the Stairs…..Straight Cellar Dwellers. More comfortable in the dark than they could ever be in the light. The interesting thing about cellars is that the air down there can get pretty foul and stale. Quite possibly because it is something down there that is probably dead and that has gotten so old that it has began to rot and needs to be discarded. Not to mention, cellars usually go for long periods of time totally unattended and tend to accumulate a bunch of junk that generally never gets used again once it’s placed there. Funny how these characteristics sound a lot like the attitudes and lives of people that tend to be negative and find comfort in darkness. These individuals tend to carry around grudges and unnecessary baggage from one relationship to another. It just lends credibility to the statement that people typically tend to be a product of their environment. So with that being said, please understand that I understand that everyday can’t be Rainbows and Lollipops. I am well aware that there are some days where it is just so much easier to just go with how you feel (albeit positive or negative) instead judging the situation with a certain degree of neutrality. Trust me when I say that there are days when WWJD takes a little longer to compute for me than others. I am human after all and we human beings are emotional creatures. However with time and a lot of patience you learn to walk away from negative people and negative situations. Believe it or not you (yes…you) have the ability to condition your mind to sort through the negativity and pessimism that some folks try to throw your way. For you see we have to train our minds to see the good in every situation. Every situation you ask? Yes. Every situation.  Sometimes it’s just harder to separate the good from the bad if you are emotionally invested in the situation that is causing the momentary discomfort.

In closing, I wish to leave you with five simple rules that have allowed me to be a source of positivity and light where negativity and darkness may exist. Now here is my disclaimer for the uninitiated. Experience has taught me that in order for an individual to live a life of positivity and exude seemingly ridiculous amounts of optimism there must be an understanding that it won’t happen overnight. There is work involved and is an ever evolving process. The beautiful thing about exerting energy to bring about positivity is that the universe always honors it. Now also understand that with every process comes momentary frustration. Even the most positive person has their low moments. However in my humble opinion, the key is not letting those low moments linger any longer than they have to. It’s ok to let the feelings in so long as they aren’t allowed to stay….

I leave you with my Five Simple Rules for Happiness:

• Free your heart from hatred
• Free your mind from Worries
• Live Simply
• Give more
• Expect less

And for those of you that believe as I believe, I leave you with this:

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven – Matthew 5:17.

God Honors Effort ©

Efforts and Courage are not enough without purpose and direction

John F. Kennedy

Merriam-Webster Dictionary online defines effort as something produced by exertion or trying.  It also lists several other definitions for the word but this one best fits today’s entry. Experience has taught me that nothing worth having ever comes easy. A healthy body, a strong marriage, a disciplined mind or a kind heart. The question of “worth” depends on the individual. The actual value of anything is based on a person’s experiences and mindset. A person that has never had a lot of money or resources tends to have greater appreciation for what they obtain as opposed to someone who has had access to unlimited resources virtually all of their life. I for one truly appreciate the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me because of where I have come from. If life occurs in seasons then the first part of life for me would be considered Fall. I say Fall (which is my favorite season by the way) because anyone who has experienced a Fall in the Southeastern United States knows that you have your beautiful days and then you have your not-so-beautiful days. I am grateful that I can honestly say that my good days have truly outnumbered my bad days and thankfully in this new season of life I am experiencing, the gap is becoming even wider. This particular season of life for me can only be described as Spring.

But enough about me..

God truly honors effort.

Now I am sure that those of you who believe as I believe can agree that when you set your mind and heart to the accomplishment of a task or arriving at a destination that is aligned with the will of God, He will supplement any deficiencies. The beautiful thing about God is that he understands that our power is only derived from our faith and trust in Him. He knows that we are incapable of obtaining anything through our strength alone and it is because of this that HE is an ever present help to those that call on Him. Now exactly how much effort He requires is uncertain. But one thing is clear. He will most definitely pick up where you leave off if you have given it your all with nothing held back. All that He asks is that when He picks it up….. that you leave it to him to finish the task. So many of us block our blessings and delay our breakthrough because we want to “help God out”. Like anything we contribute is gonna actually assist God with delivering us from or promoting us to where we are or wish to be. This in my (the humblest of) opinion is a foolish sentiment. God has been doing this for a minute now. I mean I’m sure he appreciates it and all, but I don’t think he needs our assistance.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by a phenomenal group of people. Individuals that understand that effort apart from God is foolishness. People that understand that the God we serve is a God of order and function, not one of chaos and confusion. That being said, make sure that the effort you put forth has purpose. God honors effort that brings glory to His name and effort that is purposeful. Allow me to provide you with a few examples of exactly what I mean:

Effort trying to save a relationship that God hasn’t blessed is irrational.

Effort trying to discredit or block another’s progress is foolish.

Effort trying to harm or discomfort someone eventually harms the person attempting to inflict the harm.

Effort trying to move before our appointed season only results in a delayed arrival to your destination.

Effort trying to love someone that you are not equally yoked with only leads to disappointment and frustration.

I could go on for days.

 The point is that one should truly consider if the effort they are about to put forth or are currently putting forth is a) truly worth the energy b) serves a purpose for you and c) is aligned with your Deity’s will for your life.

If your effort and energy isn’t purposeful to some extent it is in this author’s humble opinion basically pointless. Take it from someone who has wasted a lot of time and energy trying to do, obtain and keep things that I was never intended to have or pursue in the first place. Pointless endeavors do nothing but frustrate the participant. It skews the perspective and sears the conscience. It makes one bitter and/or cynical. This is why it is extremely important you plan your work, work the plan and trust the plan. And if you first don’t succeed….  don’t worry if you fall flat on your face. The nice thing about falling down is that the only way to go from there is up. I saw a very profound post on Pinterest the other day. It said that if you get knocked down… just roll over and look at the stars. Falling down…failing … grants perspective. How can we ever get better at something if we never have challenges? Failure is only delayed success to those of us who won’t and can’t quit. I personally can never leave a task undone. That could be considered both a gift and a curse. A gift in that by not quitting I eventually receive God’s best. A curse in that I have wasted a lot of time on things and people that I shouldn’t have. The wonderful thing about staying disciplined is that if what you are trying to obtain is a part of your destiny you will be successful. It’s guaranteed. Maybe not in our time or when we want it to occur but it’s an inevitable fact that dutiful attempts eventually lead to a bountiful harvest. It’s having the faith and patience to stay engaged, expecting success. The problem with a lot of us is that we are so busy trying to obtain a goal that we never take the time to stop and visualize actually obtaining that which we seek. I count myself in that number at times. I get so caught up in the details that I fail to actually stop and look at the end result. Is it worth it? Is the energy I’m exerting worth the trouble? Is this going to improve my quality of life and the quality of life of those around me? Does it glorify God and His Kingdom? These are some of the questions I ask myself when I find a particular endeavor or situation becoming troublesome. As I have matured, I find it a lot easier to walk away from anything or anyone that make things more difficult for me than they were divinely appointed to be.

Now don’t get it twisted. Life is challenging and we as human beings (even the superhuman ones) tend to make our existence a lot more difficult than it needs to be. However, we as humans are imperfect. No one has all the answers. Everyone makes mistakes. One of the keys to living is embracing our imperfections. The key to overcoming challenging situations and discouraging incidents is remembering that everything that happens in this life happens for a reason. The difficulties of life arise to strengthen us. Life’s obstacle can test our resolve but are never intended to punish us. It is not the intention of the Most High to cause those that serve Him unnecessary discomfort. We tend to cause ourselves the most discomfort by attempting to obtain or hold on to things that the Most High has asked us to let go of. Chasing pipe dreams and waterfalls can cause one a lot of frustration as well.

One other thing to remember when evaluating whether or not the insane amount of effort your are putting into any given situation is rational or logical is just making sure you haven’t gotten lost in other’s expectation of you. I have witnessed firsthand individuals going all out for a cause that they do not believe in or a reason that they have absolutely no investment in.  Now of course over the course of one’s life there will be situations thrust upon us that are unfortunately unavoidable.  We may at times find ourselves unintentional participants in supporting the efforts of others. It’s just as my granny used to say…. “just the way the cookie crumbles.”  Been there and most definitely done that... more times than I even want to recount or remember. However, the key thing to remember when you find yourself in the unenviable position of supporting a cause that does not directly reflect your beliefs and standards is to remain true to yourself and what you believe regardless of the environment or related circumstances.

Yes, Yes…… the very thought of having to put forth any amount of effort scares the hell out of some folks. I personally know people who have workaphobia (Yeah… I made that up so don’t go trying to Google it). As a matter of fact if given the opportunity to change their quality of life by simply giving the slightest amount of effort they would simply sit back and let that opportunity slide right on by because they just aren’t willing to put forth any effort to take advantage of it.

They say things like:

I ain’t doin’ all that!

So you want me to do what?

Ummmmm...

Who’s doin’ all that? Not me!

Sad thing is (at least to me anyway) while the person is sitting there making 101 excuses why they won’t or can’t do something the ish could have been already done. I have absolutely no sympathy for a healthy, able-bodied individual who refuses to take ownership in improving their quality life.  A word to all those folks out there sitting back waiting on their “big break” …. You actually have to do your part to place yourself in position to receive it. No one is gonna just show up at your crib and drop it off on your porch. You’re gonna have to get up off your blessed assurance and make things happen. God truly honors effort but you got to at least let him find you working and not resting on your laurels or curled up in the fetal position in your comfort zone.

So in closing, remember this. Not only does God honor effort, He also honors audacity. Be bold enough to stand firm in the face of opposition. For the enemy is forever placing obstacles in the way of those of us that strive to be a positive influence on our environment. Persistence and Perseverance pays tremendous dividends.  Throughout history there have been examples of individuals who have had to withstand what to the untrained eye appears to be insurmountable odds. If you take a closer look at the person’s predicament aka testimony it was the their faith, their effort and their courage that enabled them to push through. For there is a unexplainable sense of freedom in being courageous. A courage derived from the knowledge that effort full of purpose and properly planned is infallible.  

Fatal Flaw ©

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without – Confucius

I want to begin this entry with some very profound words that were shared with me by one of the many phenomenal people I have met since I have relocated to Scottsdale, Arizona:

Always pray to have the eyes that see the best.

A heart that forgives the worst

A mind that forgets the bad &

A soul that never loses faith in God.

I had never heard anything so simplistic, yet so utterly profound. I thank God for the people he has surrounded me with and allowed to come into my life. I thank God for the ones that decided to hang around (I admit I can be an acquired taste at times). I also thank God for the people He has saw fit to remove from my circle. Lord knows He had to do it because I probably would never have disassociated myself from them. 

Hence the title of this entry.

My fatal flaw….

Now before I reveal it I want to preface everything by saying that no one on this planet that we have been blessed to inhabit is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all at one time or another have done things that if given an opportunity to revisit whatever that thing may be, may have done things slightly different.  However, I would not refer to these feelings or reflections as regrets but merely growing pains. As we grow…. As we mature we (well some of us) find a better way to do things. A better way to resolve conflicts, a better way to speak to people, a better way to handle our everyday affairs, a better way to exist. This is the nature of that beast called aging. As we get older we tend to not sweat the small stuff as much. As we get older we tend to care less about the opinions of others in regards to who we are, what we do and how we live. As we mature, we tend to not be as judgmental because if we are truly honest with ourselves we know that at any time the very people we sought to judge or unfairly label could have been us. Regardless of what you believe and regardless of your current situation, grace and mercy is the only reason your situation isn’t worse that it currently is. If you believe as I believe, you understand from Whom your Grace and Mercy comes from. Now if you are blessed enough to have never ever made a mistake over the course of your life and have never done anything you maybe wish you could have done differently, then just let me be the first to say that you are currently “living the dream”….. or maybe you’re a pretty self absorbed person.  I know plenty of self absorbed people. In my humble opinion, a person is self absorbed when they think that the entire world revolves around them and how they think and what they believe is right regardless of whether or not that belief causes the ones around them discomfort or distress. They never worry about anyone in their circle until that person's well being or quality of life effects them albeit directly or indirectly. Yet they always want you to lend them an ear or “pray for them” when they are expericing life difficulties. However, it is our duty as civilized human beings to look out for our neighbor especially those that we profess to love or care about. Now don’t misconstrue what I am saying, we are not expected to do anything for anyone solely on the basis of getting something back. The unfortunate part about self absorbed people is that they have a delusional sense of entitlement... 

 Jada Pinkett Smith said it best:

We are not entitled to anyone's love.

We are not entitled to anyone's friendship.

We are not entitled to anyone's professionalism, courtesy, consideration or admiration. 

We are not even entitled to life. 

Receive it all in gratitude.

Tomorrow is not promised.

Unfortunately, some people only do for others to receive something in return. They unfortunately miss the whole point in being benevolent. You should never feel like you are obligated to do anything for anyone. If it’s not in your nature to give, then don’t. Be true to yourself. But understand that the pendulum swings both ways and the Most High as well as the universe rewards a cheerful giver. Don’t be deceived. There are only two types of people in this universe – Givers and takers. Our job is to determine exactly which one we are dealing with and respond accordingly. I say all the time that Karma is not a respecter of persons. You most definitely get what you give in this life albeit for better or for worse. I honestly believe the key to benevolence is maintaining a proper balance with your giving. Don’t share so much of yourself that you lose the joy of giving. Don’t allow yourself to get lost in other’s expectations for you. Always remain true to yourself and everything that is in you. Stand firm in your beliefs regardless of the circumstances and the opinions of others.

Unfortunately this world we live in does not respect “the real” anymore. I mean everywhere you turn people are always talking about “keeping it 100” or keeping it real when in all actuality some folks wouldn’t know how to be honest or behave with integrity  if their life was on the line. Most people today if given the option to tell the hard truth or a soft lie would choose the latter every time. The reasons why are unimportant. Honesty is truly the best policy. It cuts down on people making the wrong assumptions about people or a situation, it allows people to manage expectations, it allows people to have the proper perspective on any given situation or individual and first and foremost for those of you that believe as I believe it’s just what is expected of us by the Most High:

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free –John 8:32

People base their “reality” now on their perception of what’s real. Which is not an issue as long as your perception of the facts that add up to your equation for what equals reality is an objective one. The unfortunate thing about many people’s reality is that they either base it on what someone has told them or on a flawed perspective of what is really going on around them.  Many people in today’s society have linear vision on a variety of topics…. Race, Economics, Religion, Spirituality, Love, Friendship, Relationships ... I mean the list of topics I could add here is virtually endless. Society is short of free thinking individuals these days. This in the grand scheme of things is extremely disheartening considering the virtually endless sources of information available to people nowadays. Gone are the days of walking to the library to feed your thirst for knowledge (Yeah I’m dating myself….oh well).  You can pretty much locate information on any topic by using any number of search engines on the World Wide Web. Yet so many of individuals are satisfied with just accepting what mainstream media and their immediate circle of associates tell them. Even adopting their friends and family’s views as their own without even validating the accuracy of the information for themselves. Now let me also say that having a lot of knowledge does not make one wise. We have a lot of educated fools running around today as well. People that are extremely intelligent on a number of levels yet have little to no common sense.

My Fatal Flaw is that I have a very simplistic view of life. I try to always see the best in people even when they don’t give me much incentive or reason to. At times to my detriment. This probably explains why there are times when God simply removes certain people from my life and out of my circle of associates. I believe in order to live a peaceful and productive life, one only has to have (aside from the obvious spiritual connection to a deity whoever or whatever that may represent for you) three things present in it:

Order = Structure

Symmetry = balance

Function = Purpose

If you believe as I believe, then you understand that God doesn’t bless mess. He favors structure and organization over dysfunction and chaos. I think that I try to maintain a simplistic view of life because we as human beings have a tendency to over think things. I think it’s just in our nature at times to make more of a situation than it actually is. As I have gotten older, I realize that “sweating the small stuff” is counterproductive. As I have I matured, I now understand the importance of the transference of spiritual energy. Simply stated, I understand the importance of turning negative energy to positive energy in order to maintain one’s sanity. People will drive you freaking crazy if you allow them to. Over the course of my life I have learned how important it is to “learn the lesson”. To quickly lay to rest toxic relationships and to promptly exit destructive cycles of behavior. That life is comprised of seasons and once a particular season has passed to let it go. That we were created to be unique, not follow the crowd. That we have been blessed with free will and that we have the right to live life on our terms as long as our quality of life does not impose on someone else’s.  Yeah some of you may read this and say that I am delusional… and that’s your God given right to think so. However, I believe in being straightforward and honest. What you see is most definitely what you get. There are no shades of gray with me. For some…that might be too much to handle. True honesty and sincerity sometimes scares the hell out of folks. Others it offends. Here’s the thing though…. All I can control is how I treat you. I have absolutely no control over how you’ll respond. Nor do I want to control it. You were blessed with the ability to behave however you choose to. However, so was I. That being said, my simplistic view of life is mine and mine alone. For better or for worse. I won’t ever try to change anyone’s view of anything. I may offer some advice or offer a varying opinion on a topic if I view the situation or circumstance differently, but I will never try to change anyone’s opinion on anything. That’s a losing battle. For people don’t change until they are ready to. For some…. That day never comes and in my humble opinion that’s perfectly ok. That’s their right.

Yes …my fatal flaw is occasional naivety. A childlike view of life. But you know true beauty comes from embracing one’s flaws. I have learned to embrace mine. Not saying that I always have. There have been times when I have allowed situations and circumstances make me adjust my mindset only to discover later on that my mindset wasn’t the one that needed adjustment. I have learned to commune with and entertain my “inner child”. I developed my simplistic view of life while mentoring inner city youth and serving as a youth counselor in a variety of different programs. You see I am an observer. I feel that a basic component of learning is observation. You want to know the truth about an individual, situation or circumstance? Sit back, observe and don’t say a word. The key is being willing to accept what you see. To me…that’s the hardest part. But anyway…… Kids kind of got this life thing figured out. Kids either like you or they don’t. They don’t pretend to like people to spare their feelings. They say exactly what’s on their mind. They make no excuses for how they feel. They just “do them” and to hell with what anybody else thinks about it. It’s when they get older and have to assimilate into the rules (both spoken and unspoken) of today’s society where they tend to start losing their individualism if their upbringing doesn’t support their free spirited nature.  I personally think that we could all take a page from the book of a child.

I refer to my simplistic view of life as my fatal flaw because it has been the source of a lot of pain for me over the years and probably will be until the day I die. Mostly because I just don’t feel the need to change for the sake of others. That belief has resulted in a lot of sleepless nights. That belief has resulted in a lot of disappointments because I chose to see the best in someone who had absolutely no endearing qualities in them whatsoever.  I knew the relationship was toxic from the beginning but that occasional naivety kicked in and I honestly believed that the person was trustworthy when clearly they were not. Am I gullible? No. Do I believe that people are innocent until proven guilty? Yes. I kind of view relationships as a work of art. See artists put their heart and soul into their work. Sort of like we are supposed to truly put our heart and soul into relationships. Well at least I do anyway. You see, everyone gets a blank canvas with me. I provide the paint and all the tools you need to paint the picture of how you would like me to see you going into the relationship (Amorous, Platonic or otherwise). I allow you to control the brush strokes. To create the picture that you truly want me to see. Then guess what….once you complete the painting, I interact with you based on the picture you present to me. The problem is that most of the time people don’t really know what to put on the canvas so they paint the picture they think that you want to see instead of just being true to what’s inside of them. Hence my dilemma. I have been presented with some faux masterpieces in my time and anybody that knows anything about art knows that there are some pretty damn convincing replicas of some classical masterpieces in circulation today.

Nevertheless, I am thankful for my imperfections. I acknowledge and embrace them because at the end of the day they are a part of who I am. I say that to say that only God can judge you. People’s opinion change like the wind. They hate you today and love you tomorrow and vice versa. Just ask Lebron James. The man is an international icon now but just three years ago he was one of the most hated men in the NBA (after Commissioner David Stern of course…I think that cat will have the number one spot for ever). Love yourself unconditionally. So when the naysayers and the negativity comes, you won’t focus on it or entertain it. Life is too short to waste one second worrying about how people feel about you or think of how you live your life. Most of the time the people who try to criticize you for the way you live your life secretly wish they had your life anyway. Avoid negative and messy people like the plague. Never take for granted that misery loves company. Trust me I have dealt with my share of miserable messy people. We all have. The key is to make those interactions as brief as humanly possible. Live your life and live it to the fullest regardless of what anyone else thinks about how you live it. Only you truly know what’s best for you. Last but certainly not least, the most important thing to remember is to trust your Creator and trust yourself. Faith can truly move mountains and be not deceived…. Faith is all about trust. Trusting when you can't trace the outcome. Trusting that a flaw to one maybe an asset to another. Knowing that you have truly found peace when you can honestly love yourself…

Flaws and all....

Mindspark by Cathy Johnson

People who make a difference in life have…

·         Initiative – being a self starter with contagious energy

·         Vision – seeing beyond the obvious, claiming new objectives

·         Teamwork – involving, encouraging, and supporting others

·         Faithfulness – hanging in there in season and out

·         Enthusiasm – providing affirmation, excitement to the task

·         Discipline – modeling great character regardless of the odds

·         Confidence – representing security, faith and determination

Be sure your make a difference today!

Liberation – Part 1©

Freeing oneself from words is liberation - Bodhidharma

Everybody speaks of needing or wanting freedom in some capacity at one time or another over the course of their life. However, very few people take the necessary steps it requires to truly be free. Some let fear keep them from doing what’s required to obtain the freedom they seek. Others allow complacency to keep their longing for freedom in check. However, most just like the idea of freedom or liberation never actually planning to ever make any attempts of obtaining it. These people merely live vicariously through those few individuals that strive daily to be free albeit literally or theoretically.

Dictionary.com defines liberation as the act of liberating or the state of being liberated. The word is a derivative of the word liberty. Liberty as defined by Merriam- Webster.com is the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life and as having the power to do as one pleases.

At one point or another we all have found ourselves in situations (mostly of our own design) that enslaved us and/or momentarily kept us from truly being who we were truly destined to be. Whether it was that one night stand that turned into a decade’s worth (or more) of baby mama or baby daddy drama (Yes….. baby daddies from what I have been told can be rather dramatic too), that mountain size amount of debt you have accumulated from all those “retail therapeutic” trips to the mall, that toxic relationship that you were never meant to enter into that you continue to try to maintain or that “habit” you just can’t seem to shake. Whatever the situation or circumstance, our life choices ultimately determine whether we live free or live in a state of bondage.  

Now allow me to double back for a sec and elaborate on a couple of items.

Freedom represents different things to different people. I understand that no one is perfect and I am in no way a life coach or an expert on decision making. I have made my lion’s share of mistakes. Some public, others not so much. However, that’s one of the many components of living freely. The ability to learn from your mistakes regardless of what public opinion seems to be of them and pressing forward towards a quality of life that works for you. I made reference to a component free living. There are in this humble author’s opinion several. Many of which are so simplistic that we tend to regularly take them for granted. While I probably won’t get around to sharing all of them in this particular entry, I will cover the one’s that I have observed to be extremely important to one’s quest for true liberation.

Freedom of Choice

We all have the right to live the way we wish to live as long as our quality of life does not impede the progress or detrimentally affect those around us. We have every right to live the life we have always dreamed about. Trust and believe that if you want something bad enough and put forth the proper  amount of effort to obtain it that God honors effort. With that being said, the acquisition of that thing you long to possess should never be at the expense of another’s happiness, freedom or quality of life. That is the surest way to end on the dark side of karma and take it from this writer…. That is not a place anyone wants to be. Not only do you eventually reap what you sow in instances like this, you could spend half of your life doing it. That’s why it is always important to sow good seed. Always be a part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Pettiness is a choice. Be the bigger person. Messiness is a choice. Mind your own business. Negativity is a choice. See the glass as half full or overflowing. Ignorance is a choice. Make an effort to become enlightened on topics before forming opinions about them. Freedom is a choice. You can live your life at the whim of others or you can choose to live your life as the Creator intended you to …void of anyone’s opinions of who you are or what you represent. You are unique. A one in 7 billion work of art. God provided the canvas …. Now create your masterpiece.

Freedom of the Mind (Individual Thinking)

Enslavement can be as much mental as it can be physical. Many of us can find ourselves incarcerated having never spent one moment in a jail cell. We have become a society that so craves affirmation in one way or another. The unfortunate thing is a lot of us are seeking affirmation from individuals that are as broken and damaged as we believe we are. Now that is most definitely a recipe for disaster and why unfortunately our society is in the state that it’s in. Now I am not a downer or a doomsayer in any way, shape or form. I am however a realist. I observe patterns and trends and study human behavior. I understand that there are those that exist only on the misery and discomfort of those around them. As a matter of fact, the more dysfunctional the situation, the more at home they are in the dysfunction. These individuals may even go out of their way to ensure that the situation never improves.  This in my humble opinion lends a little bit of credence to that age old saying that “misery love company”. Nevertheless, just like these individuals make the conscience decision to exist in the midst of dysfunction, we can make the conscience decision to reject this mindset and exist amidst structure and order. We have the ability to think for ourselves and choose to be free thinking individuals. Nonetheless, so many individuals today choose to be spoon fed their ideals, their morals, their beliefs, their opinions to detriment of the world around them. Once upon a time, people took pride in the amount of knowledge they were able to obtain on their own. Once upon time, individuals did not allow mainstream media and reality TV shape their opinions or pattern their behavior. Once upon a time, people took pride in being able to be knowledgeable on a variety of different subjects and weren’t ridiculed for attempting to share that knowledge with others. I look at today’s youth and see where all that our forefathers sacrificed in order for them to live exactly the way they choose to live has taken a serious turn for what looks to be worst. A lot of our youth are now ok for settling for less than their full potential in attempts to not “stand out” or to try to “fit in”. I remember when the whole point of going to school, furthering your education in some capacity and “grinding” were attempts to set yourself apart from the “pack”. Not because you were so much better than others, but merely because you wanted better for yourself.   Not because you wanted nothing to do with your “people”, but because you wanted to help your “people” to do better. Not because you wanted all of the praise and accolades for yourself, but because you wanted to be a responsible citizen and do your part to make the world around you a better place.  Yet somehow in today’s society, “bad” behavior is the rule of the day. Mainstream media glamorizes it and unfortunately society is eating it up. I mean just turn on the TV. There are so many so called “reality” TV shows that show you that as long as you have money and a little bit of status you can get away with acting like a complete idiot. The funny thing about these TV shows is while they are called “reality” TV shows, they don’t truly represent the reality of eighty-five to ninety percent of the people watching them. Nevertheless, it does not stop that group from going out trying to emulate what they see to the utter frustration of those around them.  Now don’t think that I am anti “reality” TV. There are actually some good shows out there. They enlighten and entertain without degrading a gender, a race of people, etc. And ok…. I can’t even lie. I occasionally check out some of the other shows too. I mean it’s kind of sad to see people working out their issues in front of millions of viewers but at the same time it kind of reminds me that my life ain’t really all that bad. The key to watching these shows is to remember that what you are watching is these people’s reality….. not yours. You have to be able to make that distinction. The initial purpose of “reality” TV was to entertain, not for us to pattern our lives after it. I think that’s where a lot of people slip up.

 

I said all of that to say that in order to obtain freedom on any level, you have to be in the right “head space”. You have to determine what represents freedom for you and then make the conscience decision to take the necessary steps to obtain it. There are those few individuals out there that understand the mind’s power. They did not come to that level of understanding overnight. In order to obtain mental freedom – which in my humble opinion is the most important type of liberation there is – a fair amount of sacrifice must be made. You may have to stop hanging with certain people. You may have to stop going to certain places. You may have to stop reading certain things or watching certain shows. You have to be extremely careful of what you feed your mind. Images are powerful and if you aren’t careful you could find yourself trying to emulate something that goes against everything you stand for or were raised to believe. It takes a strong constitution and an equally strong mind to stand firm against a status quo that goes against everything you know and have been raised to believe is right. It takes an even stronger individual thinker to try to help those that seemingly have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Especially when their opinion is viewed by the establishment as “radical” or “disruptive”. However, it is our duty to help those that we feel have strayed away from any sort of sense and sensibility. Not to stand idly by why they spiral out of control especially if we have any level respect for the individual or concern for their welfare. This is especially true of reclaiming our youth and returning them to the path of being responsible and productive free thinking individuals.

I make a lot of references to our youth because I truly believe that any chance that we have at undoing the atrocities of our past lies with them. I have been a mentor to inner city males and have worked in a number of youth programs and I will be the first to tell you that if you want to experience liberation in its rawest form to look to the mindset of a child. Children represent freedom in its purest form.  No true idea of what society has in store for them. No clue of the dangers that await them. No sense of true responsibility. Just pure freedom to do whatever their heart desires. The unfortunate thing is today or homes are missing true parents now. You see true parents spend enough time with their kids to teach them about all of the aforementioned hazards that await them instead allowing “reality” TV or “the block” shape their minds and behavior. I tell the youth I speak with all the time that this “grown up” thing is overrated. To stay in a child’s place as long as humanly possible because once you cross that line into adulthood, there is absolutely no going back. I try to tell them how important it is to learn the lessons life offers them (good, bad, or indifferent) and to always seek wise counsel. Too many of our youngsters view someone sharing advice or wisdom with as “hate” or “shine blocking” when in all actuality it is someone making an attempt to prevent you from making some of the same mistakes that they made. Odd thing is that unfortunately there are a lot of adults out there that have that same mindset. The difference being kids have time to turn that thing around with the right guidance whereas adults tend to ruin the lives of those in their care.

 

Having the proper mindset can set and keep you free while the improper mindset allows you to be enslaved to the whims of people, places and things dooming you to eternal servitude. I for one know what it means to have both having been blessed to escape the latter.  However, my freedom came at an extreme cost (well extreme to me anyway). I had to practically leave everything I have ever known behind in order to obtain the freedom that I so longed for. I was going to never experience it remaining where I was. There were too many distractions, too many unspoken obligations placed on me by people who when it was all said and done did not have my best interest at heart, too many people around me with the improper mindset and just way too much motivation to stay on the “wrong” path. I knew that in order for me to truly be free, I had to make a change. So I took a leap of faith. I packed up and left my comfort zone. See the quest from freedom makes you audacious and bold. The desire to be free overwhelms fear of the unknown or at least it did for me. I was tired of being a slave to my circumstances.  The fear of dying never knowing anything other what I had known my entire life was ultimately the “final straw”. So….. I was blessed with the opportunity to pursue my freedom and I haven’t looked back. Sometimes all it takes is a crack in the window of opportunity to motivate us to climb through it. So when you get your chance…take it. They only come around but so often and life offers no guarantees that you will get many of them. Just know that nothing in this life is accidental or coincidental and that the universe operates on a Divine timeline. You get exactly what you are supposed to exactly when you are supposed to and not one second before. The Most High knows what’s best for you even when you don’t and disperses blessings accordingly. With that knowledge and “the faith of a mustard seed” (that was an old Southern Baptist Sunday School flashback for ya’ll) freedom is only an intentional first step away.

Now you must understand that after that first step is taken that that is only the beginning of your journey, a journey that I might add that is not for the faint of heart. Your circle will get smaller simply because you want something different and everyone is not going to understand why. The key is to not be disheartened or despair when people leave your life. They are just making room for the people that are supposed to be there. That will value who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. Not to mention it gives you the time and space you need to become a better you so that when the right people come along, your insecurities won’t run them away. It takes major courage to move against your compulsion to stay in that safe place. Human beings seem to have a natural tendency to try to cling to relationships, places and things even if they are not in their not in best interest. I learned that in order for you to truly experience life’s best you have to understand that life is comprised of seasons and once a certain season in your life is over….. you must let it go. We cause ourselves the most heartache and emotional distress trying to hold on to things that were supposed to release a long time ago. But I get it. Change can be scary. Especially if you don’t have an effective plan. Now don’t get it twisted, having a plan does not insure success. Having a plan merely gives you a reference point. Things don’t always go according to it…best laid plans and such. However, when you reach a point on your quest that seems unfamiliar to you, you always have reference point to return to.

 

A dear friend kind of summed it up for me this way….

“The freer your mind, the clearer your thinking. The clearer your thinking, the better are your choices. The better your choices, the better your quality of life.”

Like I mentioned earlier, a mindset that is rather simplistic and easily taken for granted. Yet so hard to follow for some. A number I once counted myself amongst. But no longer. See….. that’s the thing about becoming an individual thinker. Once you get a taste of it, you will never again settle for anything less than the truth. Anything less is an absolute insult to your intelligence.

Declaration of Independence ©

Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free – John 8:32 NIV

Those of you that know me know that I like to play things particularly close to the vest. However, today’s entry is one of a personal and albeit more candid nature.

 I’ll start this entry by saying that as I have matured both mentally and spiritually, I find it easier to say what I want and need to say as long as it is rooted in truth. Not my truth, but truth revealed from a higher and more trusted authority. Not saying that I myself am untrustworthy, but that God’s truth is more time tested, all encompassing and is ultimately sovereign. However as we all know or have and most definitely will eventually come to know, the truth at times can be most inconvenient.  Especially if that truth flies in the face of everything we know or have been raised to believe. Nevertheless, it is the truth and regardless of when you acknowledge its validity, it still remains the fact of matters. It just is what it is and it’s going to be what it’s intended to be. Regardless of what amount of considerable effort one puts forth to avoid or conceal it.   

That being said, in my humble opinion truth is synonymous with freedom. You’ve heard the old adage. No truer words have ever been spoken.  Speaking the truth, even if it is an inconvenient one sets everyone in earshot free. At that moment, everyone is free to believe and feel what they want as is their God given right and privilege.  The unfortunate problem with today’s society is that it is short on free thinking individuals. People in today’s society find it much easier to believe someone else’s truth as opposed to formulating and standing on their own. That’s concerning and a tad bit disheartening. Disheartening in the fact that God blessed us all with free will and so many of us forfeit it for the sake of “fitting in” or “keeping the peace”. While I for one love peaceful coexistence, I understand that there will be lapses of harmony in said existence because of people’s differences. I say lapses because they don’t have to be permanent rifts. The rift and discord only becomes permanent because we as human beings due to pride, poor communication skills, preconceived notions, seared consciences or flawed perception allow them to be. The beautiful thing about the pure and unadulterated truth is that it transcends all of the aforementioned states of consciousness.

I personally, now as I have matured - notice I said matured and not as I have grown "older" for you are only as "old" as you feel - understand what my parents were trying to tell me back in the day. The wisdom they tried to impart onto a little knucklehead boy from Bordeaux who didn’t even realize how good he had it until it was stripped away from him early in the game by his parent’s divorce and all of the disharmony and discord that followed. I learned you are never as free over the course of your life as you were when you were a child. As for me when I was a child (well early in my childhood) I had no obligations. My only “job” was to go to school, clean my room, do what my parents and other family members asked of me and go play. My truth was that I was loved, provided for, cared for and protected. That allowed me to be the best I could be in school and in extracurricular activities. My only concerns were not doing anything to lose the freedoms I had been given by my parents by doing bonehead stuff. My dad being ex military and my  mom being old school down south born and raised kind of helped keep a brother in check. I can honestly say I owe everything I am today to my parents taking a vested interest in what I did and did not do as a youngster. Nevertheless, I learned at an early age that all good things undoubtedly come to an end. My “truth” became distorted and at an early age I had to “grow up”. At an age where kids were enjoying their adolescent years, I was working and paying bills to keep the lights on at the crib. At an age when most people if they are afforded the opportunity to go to college are partying and focusing on finishing school to begin their careers to create families of their own, I was working three jobs, attending classes and trying to have some semblance of a college experience. Yeah my truth had become “by any means necessary”.    If you are reading this and have ever been there, you understand what all that entails. No need for elaboration. I say all of that to say that as I have traveled this road of life; my truth was not always one I happily signed up for. At times it was forced upon me either by others or by the decisions I made along the way. All of which I can truthfully say were not always the best ones. Nonetheless, they were my decisions and you won’t hear me making excuses for them. I understand accountability and all that comes along with it. This is what I find concerning about the state of affairs in our world today. People aren’t willing to own up to their part of things. They are quick to stand up when praise is being passed around but look for the deepest and darkest hole when it’s time to account and atone for mistakes. “Passing the buck” seems to be the theme of the day now. “Throwing people under the bus” is some people’s favorite pastime. I have even unfortunately met my share of bus drivers. People are so quick to point out other’s shortcomings and flaws in order to divert attention away from their own. Or maybe they are intimidated by an individual’s drive and/ or wisdom, knowledge base or skill set.  Whatever the reason for their insecurity, it is easily remedied. Spend more time improving yourself and less time tearing down others. I guarantee you will have less time to throw stones.

As for me, I am constantly in a state of evolution. I am always looking for ways to better myself. That does several things for me. It staves off complacency, all but eradicates jealousy, keeps me proactive instead of reactive, allows me to celebrate the success of others, and helps me to not entertain the foolishness of others. I’m too busy. An idle mind is most definitely the devil’s workshop. Take it from someone that has allowed the devil a shift or two in the workshop of their mind. Dude was getting benefits and had a 401 k for a sec. I had to let him go though. The overhead was too damn high and his workmanship was shoddy. Plus he kept breaking stuff and pissing off the other employees. 

But I digress…

When you are in a constant state of evolution, you are constantly moving. Constantly trying to position yourself to receive life’s best. Don’t be deceived, you cannot receive life’s best void of any effort. Nothing is going to be handed to you in this life. Anyone that has ever been successful at anything has paid dues of some kind. Now granted they may make it look easy, but trust…..it wasn’t.

Now a little background on why I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence. 

Anyone that knows me knows that I appreciate clarity. 

In all things…. 

Some appreciate me for that, some don’t. Where you are on the appreciation scale is of no concern to me. Clarity is the only way I can truly appreciate people and their differences. If I’m clear on how you are and what you represent, I know better how to deal with you good, bad or indifferent. That being said, I can honestly say it took me years and a lot  introspection to get to this point. I have also entertained a lot of foolishness along the way and for those people that got on my last nerve and went out of their way to inconvenience me in every aspect of my life I just have one thing to say……. Thank you! Were it not for you, I would not know or truly understand what it means to have peace of mind. If it were not for you I would not understand what it’s like to forgive. If it weren’t for you, I would not have the sort of patience that I have now. Thank you for reinforcing my discipline and tempering my resolve. Thank you for helping to me figure out who my true friends are. I am sincerely thankful for you from the bottom of my heart. I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence because I want to share my story of my escape from bondage with you. Yes, bondage… and not the pleasurable type. I ain’t Christian Grey and I don’t have 50 shades. The bondage of which I speak is the kind that we at times allow ourselves to be placed in due to people’s unfair expectations for our lives. We burden ourselves with unspoken obligations that shackle us to people, places and things unnecessarily. We also allow fear, doubt and regret place us in a state of mental, emotional and sometimes even physical bondage. I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I can or even care to remember. The worst part of this kind of enslavement is that it is most of the time self-imposed. We tend to sign up for it by not living in the truth of the situation. We also enslave ourselves by setting unfair and unreasonable expectations on people that most of the time don’t even know those expectations are present or even have the ability of meeting or the desire to pursue the expectations that have been set. Or how about neglecting yourself or not being the person God intended you to be in order to “keep the peace” . No peace is worth keeping if it does not allow you the freedom to be who you want or need to be. So declare your independence.  I have declared mine and it started in the most unlikeliest of places under the most unexpected of circumstances.

My independence started with a move.

For you see I had been a slave to the whims of other people nearly my entire life. The whims of family, friends, lovers, “mentors”, etc. Slave to people’s unfair expectations, preconceived notions , seared consciences and severely flawed perceptions. The beautiful thing about God’s love for us is that he does what’s best for us even if we don’t fully appreciate or understand what His intentions are for our lives. I can honestly say that it was not until God ordered my steps into the desert that I felt I was allowed a furlough from my self- imposed and unspoken obligations to everyone in my life. Funny how God works, huh. He isolates you so he can get a word to you. So that you are able to hear His direction clearly.  That’s His thing and he has been doing it for millennia. Don’t believe me? Read the Word. Moses on Mt Sinai, Jonah in the Belly of a Whale, John the Baptist on the Isle of Patmos or Saul on Damascus Road. Now I do not to profess to be as righteous as any of the aforementioned individuals. Nonetheless, a wilderness experience is a wilderness experience and the outcome of this sort of experience at any level is life altering. So here I am, living in the Valley of the Sun. Out here all by my lonesome and apparently all according to God’s plan for my life. You see, while  I am the only child from my parent’s marriage and have learned to cherish my solitude…. God’s isolation plan for our lives is solitude on an entirely different level.   It has been my experience that  not only will He remove certain people from your life but he will also prevent you from forming bonds with certain people that will distract you from fulfilling His purpose for your life as well. Unfortunately, everyone is not supposed to be in your circle and everyone that claims to be your friend is not. Clarity and spiritual discernment allows one to know the difference. Now I understand that nobody’s perfect and that you can’t possibly hope to be everything for everybody. However, you do have the ability to be something to somebody. You have the ability to be a provider, a nurturer, a protector, an advisor, a counselor, a confidant (That means somebody can tell you something and you not run and tell the entire world about it…for the uninitiated), and a motivator. Yes we all have the ability to be something to someone. However, before we can be any of those things we have to be all of those things for ourselves. For you can’t hope to be any of those things for others and not have a source or supply to draw from once people have depleted yours. Now here comes the tricky part. It’s easy to be any of the aforementioned things for someone we love or truly care for. But what about people we barely know? People that come into your life not by accident or coincidence (because in my humble opinion there is no such thing) but for a purpose. That’s the true test. Can you be more than just a placeholder? Can you offer a smile, a compliment or kind word, a hug, a service, your loyalty…..your presence? Are you so caught up in yourself and what’s important to you that you can’t even sacrifice one moment of your time to make sure someone is ok or in a “good place”. Or are you just a parasite? Sucking the life out of your host and then moving on to the next one. That last question was rhetorical. Most parasitic people never own up to it anyway.

You see, life has taught me that the only way that a person can ever truly be free is to free their mind. To get their thinking clear. We live in a society where we are now forced to process so much information. It’s everywhere and readily accessible at a moment’s notice. That’s why it is vital that we carefully screen what we allow into our minds. Free thinking allows one to appreciate the blessings that they have instead of falling susceptible to greed and envy. Free thinking will allow you to understand that it is better to be alone and happy than in a relationship or situation and be miserable. Free thinking will force you to stop punishing yourself for past misdeeds and mistakes and allow you to press on in the direction you were intended to. Free thinking forces you to accept the truth of a matter (whatever that may be) and makes you drop "dead weight". When your mind is free and clear of the world’s clutter, you are in a better position to make the best decisions regarding your quality of life. Quality of life…. A term truly taken for granted these days. It means different things to different people but the one consistent theme is that people want one that is enjoyable and allows them ability to do whatever it is that there heart truly desires. Many of us are blessed enough to actually have the ability to enjoy that sort of quality of life. All of us have the ability to. The difference is that those of us that have gotten to a place where we enjoy life for what it is understand that we had to give up certain things in order to obtain it. You see some people get blessed with a new start that can improve their quality of life and try to drag a bunch of old stuff with them. Stuff that the Creator intended for you to leave behind. He does not deliver you from your old life and open the door to a new one only for you to bring along your junk.  

Not following me?

Let me clear it up for you a little:

You get delivered from alcohol and drug abuse, and you keep hanging with “the crew” that smokes and dopes.

 The divorce is final on Monday and you back in the club looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. on Friday without even processing what the hell just happened.... dragging all of your unaddressed issues into the next relationship.

 You are a baby mama… again.

You are a baby daddy…again.

You are locked up…. again.

You are unemployed… again.

I mean the list of scenarios is virtually endless. I get it though. Change can be frightening. A fresh start can be overwhelming and we as human beings crave security and consistency. Some people have had an extremely hard life. I absolutely understand that. However, that is never an excuse for not wanting to do better.  Nobody has all the answers and unfortunately not everyone has common sense. Nonetheless, unless you were born with some kind of mental impairment or have been unfortunate enough to acquire some sort of  mental disability …. You have the ability to do better. All you need is a plan. Everything may not go according to it, but you will most definitely be in a better place than you were without it. Besides, the God I serve honors effort…but you have to do your part. Yes…sometimes the only way one can truly be free is with a fresh start. I'm telling you something that I know from firsthand experience.  God knew that the only way for me to be truly free and in position to receive His best was to remove me from everything and everyone I have ever known. I can honestly say that that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. For you can’t truly appreciate independence if you don’t actually know you are in bondage.

As for me…..I have declared my independence and will never take it for granted again. The beautiful thing is that you can too. If you choose to.  I implore you to do so. However you must understand that doing so is not for the faint of heart but once experienced, you will never allow yourself to be forced into bondage of any kind and will never settle for anything less than total independence ever again.