Freeing oneself from
words is liberation - Bodhidharma
Everybody speaks of needing or wanting freedom in some capacity at one time or another over the course of their life. However,
very few people take the necessary steps it requires to truly be free. Some let
fear keep them from doing what’s required to obtain the freedom they seek.
Others allow complacency to keep their longing for freedom in check. However,
most just like the idea of freedom or liberation never actually planning to
ever make any attempts of obtaining it. These people merely live vicariously
through those few individuals that strive daily to be free albeit literally or
theoretically.
Dictionary.com defines liberation as the act of liberating
or the state of being liberated. The word is a derivative of the word liberty.
Liberty as defined by Merriam- Webster.com is the state of being free within
society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life and as having the power to do as one pleases.
At one point or another we all have found ourselves in
situations (mostly of our own design) that enslaved us and/or momentarily kept us
from truly being who we were truly destined to be. Whether it was that one
night stand that turned into a decade’s worth (or more) of baby mama or baby
daddy drama (Yes….. baby daddies from what I have been told can be rather
dramatic too), that mountain size amount of debt you have accumulated from all
those “retail therapeutic” trips to the mall, that toxic relationship that you
were never meant to enter into that you continue to try to maintain or that “habit”
you just can’t seem to shake. Whatever the situation or circumstance, our life
choices ultimately determine whether we live free or live in a state of bondage.
Now allow me to double back for a sec and elaborate on a
couple of items.
Freedom represents different things to different people. I
understand that no one is perfect and I am in no way a life coach or an expert on
decision making. I have made my lion’s share of mistakes. Some public, others
not so much. However, that’s one of the many components of living freely. The
ability to learn from your mistakes regardless of what public opinion seems to
be of them and pressing forward towards a quality of life that works for you. I
made reference to a component free living. There are in this humble author’s
opinion several. Many of which are so simplistic that we tend to regularly take
them for granted. While I probably won’t get around to sharing all of them in
this particular entry, I will cover the one’s that I have observed to be
extremely important to one’s quest for true liberation.
Freedom of Choice
We all have the right to live the way we wish to
live as long as our quality of life does not impede the progress or
detrimentally affect those around us. We have every right to live the life we
have always dreamed about. Trust and believe that if you want something bad
enough and put forth the proper amount
of effort to obtain it that God honors effort. With that being said, the acquisition
of that thing you long to possess should never be at the expense of another’s
happiness, freedom or quality of life. That is the surest way to end on the
dark side of karma and take it from this writer…. That is not a place anyone
wants to be. Not only do you eventually reap what you sow in instances like
this, you could spend half of your life doing it. That’s why it is always
important to sow good seed. Always be a part of the solution instead of part of
the problem. Pettiness is a choice. Be the bigger person. Messiness is a choice.
Mind your own business. Negativity is a choice. See the glass as half full or
overflowing. Ignorance is a choice. Make an effort to become enlightened on
topics before forming opinions about them. Freedom is a choice. You can live
your life at the whim of others or you can choose to live your life as the
Creator intended you to …void of anyone’s opinions of who you are or what you
represent. You are unique. A one in 7 billion work of art. God provided the
canvas …. Now create your masterpiece.
Freedom of the Mind (Individual Thinking)
Enslavement can be as much mental as it can be
physical. Many of us can find ourselves incarcerated having never spent one
moment in a jail cell. We have become a society that so craves affirmation in
one way or another. The unfortunate thing is a lot of us are seeking
affirmation from individuals that are as broken and damaged as we believe we
are. Now that is most definitely a recipe for disaster and why unfortunately
our society is in the state that it’s in. Now I am not a downer or a doomsayer
in any way, shape or form. I am however a realist. I observe patterns and
trends and study human behavior. I understand that there are those that exist
only on the misery and discomfort of those around them. As a matter of fact,
the more dysfunctional the situation, the more at home they are in the
dysfunction. These individuals may even go out of their way to ensure that the
situation never improves. This in my
humble opinion lends a little bit of credence to that age old saying that
“misery love company”. Nevertheless, just like these individuals make the conscience
decision to exist in the midst of dysfunction, we can make the conscience
decision to reject this mindset and exist amidst structure and order. We have
the ability to think for ourselves and choose to be free thinking individuals.
Nonetheless, so many individuals today choose to be spoon fed their ideals,
their morals, their beliefs, their opinions to detriment of the world around
them. Once upon a time, people took pride in the amount of knowledge they were
able to obtain on their own. Once upon time, individuals did not allow
mainstream media and reality TV shape their opinions or pattern their behavior.
Once upon a time, people took pride in being able to be knowledgeable on a
variety of different subjects and weren’t ridiculed for attempting to share
that knowledge with others. I look at today’s youth and see where all that our
forefathers sacrificed in order for them to live exactly the way they choose to
live has taken a serious turn for what looks to be worst. A lot of our youth are
now ok for settling for less than their full potential in attempts to not “stand
out” or to try to “fit in”. I remember when the whole point of going to school,
furthering your education in some capacity and “grinding” were attempts to set
yourself apart from the “pack”. Not because you were so much better than
others, but merely because you wanted better for yourself. Not
because you wanted nothing to do with your “people”, but because you wanted to
help your “people” to do better. Not because you wanted all of the praise and
accolades for yourself, but because you wanted to be a responsible citizen and
do your part to make the world around you
a better place. Yet somehow in today’s
society, “bad” behavior is the rule of the day. Mainstream media glamorizes it
and unfortunately society is eating it up. I mean just turn on the TV. There
are so many so called “reality” TV shows that show you that as long as you have
money and a little bit of status you can get away with acting like a complete
idiot. The funny thing about these TV shows is while they are called “reality”
TV shows, they don’t truly represent the reality of eighty-five to ninety
percent of the people watching them. Nevertheless, it does not stop that group
from going out trying to emulate what they see to the utter frustration of
those around them. Now don’t think that
I am anti “reality” TV. There are actually some good shows out there. They
enlighten and entertain without degrading a gender, a race of people, etc. And
ok…. I can’t even lie. I occasionally check out some of the other shows too. I
mean it’s kind of sad to see people working out their issues in front of
millions of viewers but at the same time it kind of reminds me that my life ain’t
really all that bad. The key to watching these shows is to remember that what
you are watching is these people’s reality….. not yours. You have to be able to
make that distinction. The initial purpose of “reality” TV was to entertain,
not for us to pattern our lives after it. I think that’s where a lot of people
slip up.
I
said all of that to say that in order to obtain freedom on any level, you have
to be in the right “head space”. You have to determine what represents freedom
for you and then make the conscience decision to take the necessary steps to
obtain it. There are those few individuals out there that understand the mind’s
power. They did not come to that level of understanding overnight. In order to
obtain mental freedom – which in my humble opinion is the most important type
of liberation there is – a fair amount of sacrifice must be made. You may have
to stop hanging with certain people. You may have to stop going to certain
places. You may have to stop reading certain things or watching certain shows.
You have to be extremely careful of what you feed your mind. Images are
powerful and if you aren’t careful you could find yourself trying to emulate
something that goes against everything you stand for or were raised to believe.
It takes a strong constitution and an equally strong mind to stand firm against
a status quo that goes against everything you know and have been raised to
believe is right. It takes an even stronger individual thinker to try to help
those that seemingly have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Especially when their
opinion is viewed by the establishment as “radical” or “disruptive”. However,
it is our duty to help those that we feel have strayed away from any sort of
sense and sensibility. Not to stand idly by why they spiral out of control
especially if we have any level respect for the individual or concern for their
welfare. This is especially true of reclaiming our youth and returning them to
the path of being responsible and productive free thinking individuals.
I
make a lot of references to our youth because I truly believe that any chance
that we have at undoing the atrocities of our past lies with them. I have been
a mentor to inner city males and have worked in a number of youth programs and
I will be the first to tell you that if you want to experience liberation in its
rawest form to look to the mindset of a child. Children represent freedom in its
purest form. No true idea of what
society has in store for them. No clue of the dangers that await them. No sense
of true responsibility. Just pure freedom to do whatever their heart desires.
The unfortunate thing is today or homes are missing true parents now. You see
true parents spend enough time with their kids to teach them about all of the
aforementioned hazards that await them instead allowing “reality” TV or “the
block” shape their minds and behavior. I tell the youth I speak with all the
time that this “grown up” thing
is overrated. To stay in a child’s place as long as humanly possible because
once you cross that line into adulthood, there is absolutely no going back. I
try to tell them how important it is to learn the lessons life offers them
(good, bad, or indifferent) and to always seek wise counsel. Too many of our
youngsters view someone sharing advice or wisdom with as “hate” or “shine
blocking” when in all actuality it is someone making an attempt to prevent you
from making some of the same mistakes that they made. Odd thing is that
unfortunately there are a lot of adults out there that have that same mindset. The
difference being kids have time to turn that thing around with the right
guidance whereas adults tend to ruin the lives of those in their care.
Having
the proper mindset can set and keep you free while the improper mindset allows
you to be enslaved to the whims of people, places and things dooming you to
eternal servitude. I for one know what it means to have both having been
blessed to escape the latter. However,
my freedom came at an extreme cost (well extreme to me anyway). I had to
practically leave everything I have ever known behind in order to obtain the
freedom that I so longed for. I was going to never experience it remaining
where I was. There were too many distractions, too many unspoken obligations placed on me by people who when it was all said and done did not have my best
interest at heart, too many people around me with the improper mindset and just
way too much motivation to stay on the “wrong” path. I knew that in order for
me to truly be free, I had to make a change. So I took a leap of faith. I
packed up and left my comfort zone. See the quest from freedom makes you
audacious and bold. The desire to be free overwhelms fear of the unknown or at
least it did for me. I was tired of being a slave to my circumstances. The fear of dying never knowing anything other
what I had known my entire life was ultimately the “final straw”. So….. I was
blessed with the opportunity to pursue my freedom and I haven’t looked back.
Sometimes all it takes is a crack in the window of opportunity to motivate us
to climb through it. So when you get your chance…take it. They only come around
but so often and life offers no guarantees that you will get many of them. Just
know that nothing in this life is accidental or coincidental and that the
universe operates on a Divine timeline. You get exactly what you are supposed
to exactly when you are supposed to and not one second before. The Most High
knows what’s best for you even when you don’t and disperses blessings
accordingly. With that knowledge and “the faith of a mustard seed” (that was an
old Southern Baptist Sunday School flashback for ya’ll) freedom is only an
intentional first step away.
Now
you must understand that after that first step is taken that that is only the
beginning of your journey, a journey that I might add that is not for the faint
of heart. Your circle will get smaller simply because you want something
different and everyone is not going to understand why. The key is to not be disheartened
or despair when people leave your life. They are just making room for the
people that are supposed to be there. That will value who you are and what you
are trying to accomplish. Not to mention it gives you the time and space you
need to become a better you so that when the right people come along, your
insecurities won’t run them away. It takes major courage to move against your compulsion
to stay in that safe place. Human beings seem to have a natural tendency to try
to cling to relationships, places and things even if they are not in their not
in best interest. I learned that in order for you to truly experience life’s
best you have to understand that life is comprised of seasons and once a
certain season in your life is over….. you must let it go. We cause ourselves
the most heartache and emotional
distress trying to hold on to things that were supposed to release a long time
ago. But I get it. Change can be scary. Especially if you don’t have an
effective plan. Now don’t get it twisted, having a plan does not insure
success. Having a plan merely gives you a reference point. Things don’t always
go according to it…best laid plans and such. However, when you reach a point on
your quest that seems unfamiliar to you, you always have reference point to
return to.
A dear friend kind of summed it up for me this way….
“The freer your mind, the clearer your thinking. The clearer
your thinking, the better are your choices. The better your choices, the better
your quality of life.”
