Cycles and Signs

I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt condolences to the individuals and the families of the individuals who have suffered pain and loss from yesterday's tragic events that occurred in Paris, France.

As I began penning this entry, innocent blood was being shed. The horrific events of the evening  - while extremely tragic - should serve as a wake up call for us all. Life can change in an instant. The individuals that lost their lives the evening of Friday November 13th 2015, were going about their evening without the slightest concern that this evening on Earth would be their last. It's unfortunate that as the accounts of what occurred become public knowledge, it is becoming ever more apparent that the signs of an impending creditable terror event were discovered but sadly unpreventable. Despite French Authorities best efforts, they were unable to prevent the carnage that  took place in one of the most high profile cities on the planet. Known for its imprint on fashion and dubbed one of the most romantic cities in the world, sadly now in the light of two terror attacks in the Last 12 months it can now be added to the growing list of countries that have become targets of unadulterated evil and hate. My prayers are with the individuals and the families of those who have recently suffered pain and loss not only from the tragic events of Paris but also in Beirut (Earlier this week), Kenya (April 2015) and other countries the world over. This especially includes the United States of America. I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge and pray for those right here in the country I call home. We too know what it means to see loved ones die at the hands of those whose agenda is one of hate and division.

This entry is dedicated to you....

Samuel Johnson called it the vanity of human wishes and Buddhists talk about the endless cycle of desire. Social psychologists say we get trapped on a hedonic treadmill. What they all mean is that we wish, plan and work for things that we think will make us happy, but when we finally get them, we aren't nearly as happy as we thought we'd be.

Alison Gonio

In the grand scheme of things, life is pretty simplistic. What is …… is and what isn’t simply….is not. It is us as human beings that tend to overcomplicate it. Over the course of my life I have witnessed one recurring theme. You get what you give. That’s just a simple way of saying that whatever you put out in to the atmosphere is what eventually returned to you …sometimes with interest. 

Word of the Most High alludes to this as well:

Ecclesiastes 1:9 states that which has been is what will be, that which is done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. 

Needless to say that the older I get the more truth I find in this verse. Everything that is considered ‘new” has actually been around in some shape, form or fashion once before. Just look around you if you’re over the age of 40 then you know exactly what I mean. What’s “old” is now “new” again. High top fades, “retro” fashion and vehicle styles, etc. There is now a certain level nostalgia for all things “old school”. Which to me is pretty interesting because a lot of the stuff that has made a comeback was actually “new” when I was a youngster many, many moons ago…. And yes…. Ya boy is fairly “seasoned” if you even the least bit curious. The fact is that life is - in the humble opinion of this author - just one big cycle of events that remains in perpetual motion with occasional event markers to give you an idea of exactly what kind of progress you have made over the course of it. The aforementioned “event markers” are often referred to as signs and most assuredly should not be taken lightly. I will elaborate more on my theory a little later in this entry.

I’m an avid believer of two things:

Nothing in this life is either accidental or coincidental. I believe that EVERYTHING that occurs in this life happens for a reason.

The” lesson” that life is trying to teach you will be taught and retaught until it is learned.

I mean come on…..if we are truly honest with ourselves, the things we believed were accidents or coincidences actually served to accomplish a greater purpose in our lives. That thing that you at first lamented for occurring in the grand scheme of things served to propel you into an action or season that you would have never experienced because you were too busy chilling in your “comfort zone”. A coincidence is merely the coupling of time and chance. The problem is that typically when a coincidence occurs, it catches most individuals unprepared. I say unprepared in the sense that the individual may  actually be unable to seize the opportunity that the coincidence presents. Over the course of my life I have noticed that individuals keen enough to seize opportunities when they present themselves tend to obtain success in most of their endeavors. The level of success however tends to depend on the level of “sweat equity” that has been invested. It’s the world's procrastinators and individuals with the “maybe next time” mindset that tend to miss out. I know because I once counted myself among the latter group. Not because I didn’t want to succeed or was afraid to put in the necessary effort to achieve my goals. No ….. A brother was looking to “make it” and was ABSOLUTELY willing to grind until I got “it”. However, a lack of direction and a serious lack of focus made the road to success unnecessarily hazardous (We can sometimes avoid life’s “pitfalls” if we’d only pay attention to what’s going on within us and around us…but that’s another entry for another time). There are no get rich schemes and fast money is not always the best money. Success (Whatever that means for you) is usually not tied to the path of least resistance but rather to the road less traveled. A road littered with things designed to make you uncomfortable. A road not for the faint of heart. For you see, once you start down this road, you can never return to your “comfort zone”. Not because you physically can’t return there, but because you will no longer wish to.

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat…

Translation: Fortune favors the bold. 

Short version….No one ever achieved the success that they so desperately longed for curled up in a fetal position in their comfort zone. It was not until the light came on for me and I realized that in order to obtain something that I had never had, I was going to have to be willing to do some things that I had never done before. I won’t bore you with all of the details, but let me just say that it was not until I changed my thoughts and habits that my quality of life improved. You see, your thoughts – whether you wish to acknowledge it or not - eventually drives your actions. Which why it is vital that you pay attention to the cues – some subtle, most not so much – life frequently provides you with.

Which brings me to the basis of today's entry.....

Life is honestly all about cycles and signs. Cycles – for better or worse – are your states of existence while signs are actually indicators of your quality of life and are the universe’s way of “keeping you honest”. That is if you’re paying attention. Both serve as signals of exactly where we are and can serve as guides to get us where we need to be. American Author Gretchen Rubin I think sums up the importance of paying attention to life’s signs perfectly:

Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change.

We are all emotional beings. Some people are more in tune with their feelings than others. Your emotional IQ is solely dependent upon your life experiences and your belief system. Your feelings actually have a huge impact on how you view the cycle of life that you exist in and the signs that life provides to you. People’s perception can most definitely shape THEIR reality. However, a person’s reality may not necessarily an accurate assessment of life due to the fact that a person’s perception is usually based on a biased outlook of the events occurring around them. For example, an abuse survivor (albeit emotional or physical) distrusts individuals that resemble their abuser, someone that has had an allergic reaction to shellfish is skittish about eating seafood, a man stopped and frisked by police without cause or provocation distrusts all police officers, a soldier that loses a friend to Islamic extremism, has a seared conscience towards atrocities that occur in Muslim countries. The list is endless. This writer believes that we all at some point or another during our existence struggle with two things that are intricately woven into the very fabric of a human being’s interaction with the world around them…..Patience and Forgiveness.

Patience with yourself for not quite being where you want or need to be. Patience with others for not being exactly what you want or need them to be for you. Forgiveness of the aforementioned for being fallible and inconsistent. No one and no situation will ever be perfect. A perfectionist’s life is a frustrating one. I know…. This is why the card to that club is now on the shelf collecting dust. Patience always trumps anxiety. The important thing to remember is that cycles and signs are natural. They are gauges of progress and at times serve as a glimpse into the future…. 

For better or worse.

Now granted, going from a mindset of “I have to control everything in and around my life” to blind trust is more than a notion. Freeing oneself from unspoken obligations can cause an individual a lot of discomfort. Typically because by the time you decide to liberate yourself from an endless cycle of emotional servitude, you have pretty much lost your individuality. You find that you have spent a significant portion of your life making others happy by being who they wanted and/ or “needed” you to be, while never really receiving any sort of reciprocity. I know all too well how it feels to live life this way. Selfless to the point of becoming emotionally numb just to feel “whole” while your sacrifices go unnoticed and unappreciated. This happens more often than you may think simply because in this life there are two sorts of people….. Givers and Takers. Nevertheless, once the light bulb comes on and resentment from the realization of dreams deferred for nothing has passed, you must press on. You must understand that the people in your life will do exactly what you allow them to do and will continue to do so exactly in the manner that you allow them to do it. The problem with a great many individuals is that they do not set boundaries for themselves. They do not inform individuals that they deal with early in the game exactly what they will and will not tolerate. News flash…when you do not set boundaries for your individual interactions, the boundaries are usually set for you. Consequently, you can typically pretty much rest assured that you will not much care for the rules and regulations that are set for you. It’s not up to others to figure out what’s best for you, it’s up to you to determine what’s best for yourself. Once you have determined this, you must enforce certain boundaries and set certain standards for yourself. That way, when someone enters your circle that doesn’t respect you or your boundaries, you can deal with them accordingly. You can't tell someone how they should treat you if you don’t even know how you want to be treated. This is where paying attention to life’s little (or not so little) indicators tends to make one’s life a little less complicated.

Bob Marley said it best…

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!

If leading this ever evolving life of mine has taught me one thing, it has taught me to trust my instinct. Your intuition is a sign that typically never steers you wrong if coupled with informed logic. Trust ya boy. I know. There are some people and situations that had I trusted my gut, I would definitely not have wasted a millisecond on them. The fact that hindsight is 20/20 sucks on so many levels. However, I have become the type of individual that doesn’t have to touch the stove to know it’s hot. Why? Because I saw 15 other people touch that joint and burn the ish out of themselves. “It would never happen to me doesn’t even compute” to me. Yes…. it most certainly can and will if you aren’t careful. Situational discernment isn’t some great mystery of the universe. To me it’s just having basic common sense. Sometimes all you need to do is heed the warning signs life presents to you to avoid a whole lot of anguish and discomfort. Case in point….. Crack addiction. No disrespect to recovering addicts or those in the process of recovering, but this to me is the ultimate example of “I don’t have to touch the stove to know it’s hot.” Between the stuff I saw in the hood and New Jack City (I’m just saying….ya boy was not trying to end up looking like Pookie), I was not wasting one second on the neighborhood drug dealer or a Crack Pipe. Here’s where I get confused though….for those that did get caught up and are STILL using Crack…. For those people that have said and/or are saying “I can quit at anytime” (it’s been about a decade now, right)….so you….YOU …. You were going to be that one person that was immune to the “Jones”. You were going to be that one person out of seven billion to prove everyone wrong about the power of Crack Addiction (As you tote your Grandma’s TV out the back door). Now don’t get it twisted, I know addiction is a serious thing. However, getting stung out on Crack to the kid doesn’t sound like the best situational discernment. I’m just saying. There are so many other things I could spend my money on or get hooked on…..like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. 

Dawg…. Now THOSE joints MIGHT just have a smidgen of Crack in ‘em.

But I digress.

Now.....

Cycles and Signs are all about one's viewpoint. 


The reason so many of us find ourselves trapped in certain cycles is because of our train of thought. Everyone knows or has heard at one time or another the "Glass Half Empty or Half Full" analogy or the old saying "you have to play the hand you're dealt". Both idioms allude to situational perspective. One must always remember that the mind basically processes everything that we see. Some stuff we retain, some stuff we discard. Garbage in....Garbage out. Which is why it is essential that we are extremely careful of what kind of information and media we consume. Unfortunately in today's society, we are on information overload. There is so much coming at us from so many direction that sometimes it is hard to know what information to keep and what information to ignore. Coupled with the fact that people now are not as "inquisitive" as they once were - meaning that they don't test the info to see if there is any truth to the info they just received - the world is now full of a bunch of morons and "educated fools". Probably always has been. However, now the lunatics are now running the asylum thanks to the Mainstream Media and Social Media platforms that allow people  that once upon a time people would not even pay attention to a voice. In this writer's humble opinion, the most dangerous thing in the world besides a madman with a gun is an idiot with a Social Media presence. 

Cycles and Signs. 

The former is ever evolving and the latter are all around us. They both have a significant impact on your quality of life and require your undivided attention. Simply because if you do not acknowledge the cycle that you currently find yourself in, you can never truly know what opportunities await you. Ignoring the signs that you see around you can possibly have unwanted consequences. Truth is...whether you acknowledge what's going on around you or not, whatever is meant to happen is going to happen. The benefit to acknowledging the sign is that you have the advantage of being proactive instead of reactive. Trust your boy.... getting in front of a potential issue is a hell of a lot better than damage control. The thing that I thinks causes us as human being the most discomfort is change. Human Beings are for the most part creatures of habit. We all have our "rituals" and routines and any deviation from those things cause us a boatload of anxiety at times. Some people even go as far as to resist change knowing full well that it would probably be better than what they currently have because it removes them from their comfort zone. Sometimes we cause ourselves the most pain trying to hold on to what we were meant to release.Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 speaks to a time and place for everything. It speaks of change and the variations of seasons and circumstance. Before every shift, there is a sign. An indicator that a change is on the horizon. When this happens you have a choice to make. You can either ignore the sign (Possibly to your peril or demise) or you can acknowledge it and proactively prepare yourself for what's to come. This Chapter of scripture can be applied to every single aspect of one's life. 

So in closing, I wish to impart a little bit of knowledge that I received from someone near and dear to me...

Observe your surroundings often. Monitor you feelings and emotions regularly. Check your "foundation" repeatedly (One's foundation is often not as solid as they sometimes think it is). Last but CERTAINLY not least...... examine your circle of "friends" and associates with the utmost scrutiny. Everyone that says they are down for you, simply are not. The ones that say that they have your back are usually the ones with their hands firmly wrapped around the knife planted in it. 

Trust me folks. This dude here is not in the business of keeping people around that don't want to be kept. I have happily tossed my fair share of crabs back into the barrel they managed to claw their way out of and thankfully you can too. 

All you need do is watch the for the signs. 

The truth is never far behind them.

In The Midst ©

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."

Deepak Chopra

Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word Midst. The one that truly stuck out to me for the purposes of today’s entry I have listed below for you:

the middle point, part, or stage (usually preceded by the):
Ex. We arrived in the midst of a storm.

As previously stated, there were a number of definitions that I could have used for this entry but I found this particular definition most relevant to today’s topic because of the example that followed the it.

We arrived in the MIDST of the storm..

I feel it’s worth noting here that in order to ever get to a place of peace, one must endure a countless number of storms. The most peaceful location within a hurricane is at it’s center. Now I’m no meteorologist or climatologist but, usually there is a whole lot of chaos preceding and following one reaching the eye of the storm.

I’m kind of getting ahead of myself though…...

More on that later.

Over the course of my life I have learned the following things:

• Never focus on any emotion or feeling for too long....Good, bad or indifferent.
• Being content for too long can make you complacent and unmotivated.
• Being passive for too long makes you bitter and resentful.
• Being optimistic for too long makes you naive and delusional.
• Being angry for too long makes you unfeeling and unsympathetic.
• Being sad for too long makes you depressed and hopeless.
• Being animated for too long leaves you tired and exhausted.

The point ...too much of a good thing can be bad for you while too much of a bad thing will definitely kill your spirit if you allow it to.

The key in my humble opinion is to find a quiet place somewhere in the midst of all of those feelings. Let them in ...but never let them stay. We were never meant to experience emotions over an extended period of time. This explains why we have so many of them. If we were meant to hold onto a particular set of emotions then we would have had those particular emotions coded in our DNA like hair and eye color.
I say all this to say that it's ok to feel certain emotions. All of them. What’s crucial is to recognize them for what they are, truly understand the cause of said emotion, fully experience it, take the necessary action to channel it into something useful and once the emotion has passed let it go in order to move forward with your life.

Yes….. we are ALL emotional creatures. I say all because women get the rep of being hyper emotional while us men are supposedly the calm, collected ones. Take it from me.... that is simply not the case. The only thing that separates men from women emotionally is a man’s ability to apply logic to his emotions on "the fly". I  must say though, i know plenty of women that have mastered this ability while i have found that some men severely lack it.

But that's another entry for another time.

We all must find a safe place within us. Meaning we have a place within ourselves where we can go when we seek happiness and peace. So many of us seek peace in external and tangible things only to constantly come up disappointed. That's because tangible things have a shelf life. It's the intangible things that prove to be timeless and more meaningful.

We must all find a serene  place in the midst of the chaos of our emotions. I  have found that meditation and prayer (the two can be mutually exclusive but i have found that they work well together) can aid an individual in this pursuit. However,  this requires a full commitment from us to the search for the sort of peace and serenity that we seek (which i might add is not for the faint of heart).  Trust me when i tell you....the more you seek to live a life of peace, the more hell you will experience before you eventually obtain it.  This is why it requires the utmost attention to detail,  discipline and determination to master one's emotions. Simply because we either learn to master our emotions or they will eventually master us.

Life’s storms have a way of either bringing out the best in us or the absolute worst. Believe me when I tell you that I have experienced both. The latter being the lowest point of my life while also proving to be the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to me. Only a select few will understand what I mean or how that is even possible. Yes….life’s storms will take the extremest of tolls on your psyche and well being if you allow it to. Which is why it is extremely important to never allow yourself to focus entirely on one particular emotion when things get hectic. See a lot of us tend to focus on the “dominant” emotion  associated with a particular life event. I say the dominant emotion because one can experience several emotions simultaneously. We just choose to focus on one. That one emotion usually determines our response to what occurs to us.

For example:

You have an argument with you spouse/ significant other before you head to work. Which sets you in a particular mood.You replay the argument subconsciously over and over in your head throughout the day. Instead of putting the issue aside to address later and going on with your day, you choose to dwell on it. Suddenly, things that you wouldn’t think twice about or wouldn’t even pay attention to begin to irk you:

You’re not as social as you usually are with people. That one coworker that you can usually ignore is tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines. You have a “bad” day at work. The commute home was “hellacious”. Your bag falls open in the driveway on your way into the house which frustrates you. You and your spouse/ significant other walk by each other in silence for the entire evening...well at least until he or she does something that you don’t like.

Your day probably could have gone so much better had you “compartmentalized” your anger and not let it affect your attitude for an entire day. Somewhere during the day you had an opportunity to take a step back and reset. The problem is with many us is that we never do mainly because we don’t have a “safe” place within us. Our situations are only as bad as we determine that they are or we allow them to be. Peace and Serenity requires a positive response to negative stimuli. Now I am not delusional. I know that some days this is most definitely easier said than done. Especially in the society that we live in today. People are so emotionally oblivious or intentionally cruel to one another now. I mean the level of disrespect that people show one another is ridiculous. This requires us to be proactive and vigilant when it comes to our own happiness.

Benjamin Franklin said it best:

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The only person on this planet that is truly concerned about your happiness and well being on a consistent basis is you. Yes...we have family. You may even be blessed enough to have a boatload of friends. Nevertheless, they can not live your life for you and they have lives of their own. We can’t expect others to give us what we truly need and want for ourselves. It is our job to make ourselves happy, not someone else’s. Individuals have to accept the responsibility of improving their own quality of life and for finding the peace and serenity they so desperately seek. That being said, the only place where I have personally determined that peace can be found is in the midst of a stable environment. Peace is a by product of structure and order. Chaos serves only to remind you of what an environment is like void of peace. It is never meant to become the standard. Unfortunately for so many of us, chaos and confusion is our modus operandi. Individuals that live this way never have lasting peace. Every time they get it, they intentionally or unintentionally disrupt it. Some would rather sabotage their own happiness for fear of acknowledging the way that they have currently chosen to exist is toxic. That would mean acknowledging that something needs to be corrected. Heaven forbid. I mean after all …..it’s not you…...it’s them. Right?

But i digress…..

As for me....Life has taught me that in the midst of my pain and sorrow.... I find peace. Why? Well for several reasons. First. i know it’s only temporary. Second, I know that He that is greater than I am and ever could be will work everything out for my good. Thirdly, i know that once the pain is gone, i have learned the lesson and my wounds have healed….. that greater is coming. That’s how I cope. That’s my “safe" place within. It’s up to you to find yours. The sooner you do, the sooner you can obtain all of the best that life has in store for you.

Your destiny is tied to your peace. I honestly suggest you start the search for yours today.

It’s never too late.

No ….it won't be easy.

But it will most definitely be worth it.

Vexation ©

What is the life of man! Is it not to shift from side to side? From sorrow to sorrow? To button up one cause of vexation only to unbutton another?  

Laurence Sterne

A Google search of the word Vexation gives you the following definition:

the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.

I think that it’s safe to say that any rational thinking individual has found himself or herself in this state more often than not lately. Vexed by the ever increasing attacks on people’s civil liberties. Vexed by the disconnect between elected representatives and their constituents. Vexed by male lawmakers weighing in on a WOMAN’s right to choose.  Vexed by the US interest in the business of countries half a world away while it’s own infrastructure is in decay.Vexed by the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States (If any of the previous 43 presidents had suffered the sort of indignities being tolerated by the current administration the perpetrators would have been labeled as traitors and dealt with accordingly).Vexed by the seemingly blatant disregard for a people’s inalienable rights promised to them by the US Constitution. 

For the uninitiated:

inalienable

adjective

1. The definition of inalienable is: unable to be taken away or to be given to another.

Ex. The right to life and liberty are examples of rights that are described as inalienable.

Now just as taxation without representation was championed by the colonists that founded this great nation of ours to prevent unfair governing practices and demand  impartial treatment from those in positions of authority across “the pond”, we as a new generation of pioneers and trailblazers must demand clarity surrounding the things that have an impact (albeit directly or indirectly) on our quality of life. Now let me be clear, vexation without clarification  is about as bad if not worse than taxation without representation. For you see vexation without clarification leaves room for misinterpretation and assumptions to cause breakdowns in communication. It also allows for loopholes to be created that allows the haves to persecute and hinder the growth potential of the have nots causing a distrust of authority which in essence sows the seed of disenfranchisement. 

Need some examples? 

Sure thing….

Baltimore, MD - The disenfranchised made their anger with and distrust of authority perfectly clear. They are still picking up the pieces. Don’t be deceived. Baltimore’s struggles started way before the Freddie Gray incident. That incident just simply provided the spark to light the fuse on an already combustible environment.

Ferguson, MO - Blatant racial disparities that have caused tension between the residents of this city  reached a fever pitch with the murder of an unarmed teenager by the name of Michael Brown (May he rest in peace). Now sadly enough, the residents of Ferguson were more outraged than surprised. Which in and of itself is a testimony of just how desensitized the rest of the American Populace has become as it relates to race relations in this country. The ability of a law enforcement agency to operate in a manner that deprives residents of this city of their inalienable rights and even in some cases their lives with total and absolute impunity speaks volumes about just how dire our nation’s straits have become.

Detroit, MI - Government misconduct drove the city into bankruptcy leaving the poor and disenfranchised to pay for the sins of those in authority. If the powers that be had been more concerned with keeping jobs in the city and maintaining their status of an Automotive industry juggernaut instead of lining their pockets for their own personal gain, the city’s current dilemma could have easily been avoided. I mean come on...How do you not try to save a city that gave you Joe Louis, Motown and the Mustang.

Chicago, IL - Easily on it’s way to becoming the murder capital of  the country with no end to the killing in sight. Chicago is an example of what happens to a city when the disenfranchised’s hopes are extinguished (as is the case with the other aforementioned cities). While other sectors of the city appear to be flourishing, there is still a segment of the city’s residents that have  become collateral damage of the continuing struggle that rages between the haves using up every available (and sometimes unavailable) resource at their disposal while the have nots just try to hold on to what they have. If Chicago city officials aren’t careful, they may be the next city to witness an anguished outcry as recently witnessed in the cities of Baltimore and Ferguson.

But I digress….

Now in order to keep down confusion and avoid unnecessarily vexing others, I’m careful with the words i use  and for what I believe are three very important reasons:

• Words once spoken can never be taken back
• Words have the power to alter destinies 
• Oxygen is precious and should not be wasted

Thomas Jefferson (One of the founding fathers of this great nation of ours) put it best : The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. In order for us as a country to get to a place where resources are properly distributed amongst the masses - Notice I didn’t say equally distributed, that will never happen in my lifetime. Not being cynical, just realistic. For those of you still waiting on that 40 acres and a mule, i suggest you move on from that school of thought. Other cultures that now call America home  have circled the wagons and are working collectively to control their own destinies by becoming economically responsible and influential by letting their resources do the talking for them. These cultures are quickly  making strides and progress for their people by supporting one another and showing a unified front when an assault on their culture arises whereas sadly certain cultures and races (one in particular) haven’t made nearly as much progress in almost quadruple the time.

Which brings me to a particular topic that has vexed me ever since I became old enough to read. In case you’re wondering…. that is a very long time...

Race.

The debate on the status of race relations in this country has me totally exhausted.  Every time i turn on a television set, pick up a newspaper, flip through a magazine , or log on to a social media site i see indicators of just how fragile the state of race relations is in this country truly is. I don't have to list them. You see them just like i do.

Well i’m exhausted.

People say we're regressing back to a time of segregation and racial divide.  I  say the division never was properly addressed in the first place. In order to regress back to a former state, the environment in question has to have disappeared or improved. Now while there have been great strides made in equal opportunity for those of different races, creeds, colors and orientation….. as long as there are individuals harbouring animosity towards  people's differences and individual’s God given right to live life as the Most High has seen fit to bless them with and the US Constitution has guaranteed them,  we as a society will never move past the plateau of ignorance that currently restricts us from moving away from a painful bookmark in the annals of this nation’s history.

Now I know what some of you are going to say, here we go again. Someone spouting off an opinion about discrimination against blacks and white privilege....as if we don't have enough folks out there spewing their opinions all over the place.

I couldn't agree with you more.

But i hate to break it you.... racial discrimination is real and so is the idea of white privilege. I mean a dialogue is necessary. Now i don't WANT to have it. As a matter of fact, i just want everyone to go to their corners and chill for second. My ideal state of existence would be one where people's skin color, sexual orientation, address and zip code or financial status didn't dictate how they were treated. My idea of a Utopian society is one where people are not automatically labeled as something just because of  their appearance or "presentation". Where people are allowed to be themselves free of society's attempts to kill their individualism and their spirit. And be not deceived... racism and classism strike at the very heart of individualism.

For the uninitiated:

Racism 

the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

Classism

prejudice against or in favor of people belonging to a particular social class

Now,  I am not an expert on race relations in this country. I do however pride myself in having an open mind and an unbiased perspective due to having an understanding of the fact that the two aforementioned items (discrimination and elitist principlism) tend to be at the forefront every decision made (or not made in this country).

Now, as for me…. i personally am sick of ALL of it. The endless discussions pertaining to racial divide, the blatant disrespect of various segments of this society's culture and history, the outright disrespect currently being shown to the Office of the President of the United States because the current occupant just happens to not look like the previous forty-three, the killing of unarmed citizens by poorly trained law enforcement officials (we'll just roll with that for now.... but trust me.... I'm not delusional ), the perpetuation of incendiary rhetoric by our "media outlets" to keep our fears and people's hatred front and center  as well as the constant trolling of the ignorant and uneducated on social media. The droves of people willing to march for numerous of city blocks for “justice” but unwilling to extend a hand in friendship to the cat living next door. The hypocrisy of our “leaders” who speak loud and carry a big stick...well….. at least until they start making their sponsors uncomfortable.

I'm sick of all of it. I'm tired of discussing it. When does this ride stop. 'Cause I'm ready to get off. The unfortunate thing is that society won’t let me get off. As bad as I would like to. You see I’m born with a rep. As nice a person and upstanding citizen as I attempt to be, I will always be immediately characterized until I open my mouth (If I get the chance).... And even then there is no guarantee that my word will alleviate your worst fears. 

I think the thing that vexes me the most is the fact that all of the aforementioned things are regularly entertained by or tolerated by people. Heaven forbid  if you decide for yourself that you no longer wish to tolerate or entertain people’s foolishness. Then you are somehow labeled as mentally disturbed,  antisocial, socially awkward or worse. Being an individual thinker makes you a target of those that have chose to surrender their individuality and in some cases their logic. A wise person told me long ago that common sense is not really that common. I didn’t know exactly what they meant when they first said that to me. Now I absolutely understand the message they were trying to convey. One or two minutes of scrolling through your social media news feed or 15 minutes of watching your national as well as your local news and you will understand as well. It’s absolutely laughable what passes for the “right” thing these days:

• Duct taping a dog’s muzzle shut 
• Using glue as lubricant for sex (No….. I didn’t make that up)
• Politicians saying that they wish they had said they were transgender in high school so they could have showered with girls (Kind of wish I had made that up...but alas i did not *sigh*).
• Calling a transgender woman heroic (Others have done it way before they did with no fanfare to speak of)
• A church allowing their minister to purchase a 65 million Jet (Jesus rode a donkey, sir… a borrowed one I might add)
• The Charlie Challenge (Jokes on all of you that tried that ish. It was a marketing ploy for an upcoming movie).
• The “Hold a Coke with your Boobs” challenge (No explanation needed)

And the list goes on and on…. and on…..unfortunately.

Sometimes I just want to ask people….. so you thought that was the right thing to do, huh. I would actually wait for a response. I mean seriously, the stuff that passes for socially acceptable behavior worries the ish out of me. I wouldn’t even be able to handle non socially unacceptable behavior. Might even make me holla for my homies Smith and Wesson to give them 44 reasons to get some act right. Today’s society is full of disrespectful, rude, self-centered, narcissistic, and outright evil people. I mean just look at the headlines. Now granted, the media basically sensationalizes everything for ratings and website hits, but still some of the crap that people do these days defies sense and sensibility. Don’t believe me? How about a parent disciplining their child getting national attention. A teacher trying to maintain order in his class by disciplining an unruly child gets him a child cruelty charge (Man….where was this ish when I was in grade school), a man choosing to become a woman gets more attention than a man practically bringing electricity to over 600 million people in a third world country.

Need I go on?

Didn’t think so….

It is a sad, sad commentary on the state of rational thinking in this country….Hell I would even venture say across the globe. It’s no wonder there are nations around the globe that have an unspoken hatred for (However, some actually have been quite vocal as of late) towards our nation. Now, don’t color me as unpatriotic or my rhetoric as treasonous. I just believe in not ignoring the obvious. Call me the Elephant Whisperer. For the record……. I think that mofo is more Fuchsia than pink.

I’ll let that one set in for a sec….

So yes! A brother is vexed to say the least. However, just because one is vexed doesn’t mean that they can allow their vexation to turn into cynicism or skepticism. Now granted one has to be realistic when looking at the events of today in order to correctly understand the actual state of things in their environment. Nevertheless, this doesn’t have to cause one’s conscience to become seared. The minute we allow ourselves to become numb to what’s going on around us, is the minute when society’s moral compass becomes practically ineffective. I.e., it becomes ok to view things as normal that were once considered taboo. It soon becomes acceptable to take what you have no right to simply because you want it having not put in any sweat equity. Soon the definition of love becomes conditional upon your cooperation with things that fly in the face of what it means to truly love someone. Soon one’s words and actions regularly don’t align and this is deemed acceptable. Soon our children’s disrespectful behavior towards their elders is overlooked by their “parents” and as deemed ok or “cute”…..until they end up at the end of drawn weapon of an individual that has no regard for their life or their future. 

It’s high time that people of all races, creed, color or sexual orientation become more responsible inhabitants of this planet. Whether we all believe it or wish to accept it we are all connected. This universe we live in is vast and apparently infinite. We tend to occasionally act as if we are “it” in the universe. We reside on a pebble (Planet Earth) in a pond (The Milky Way)….surrounded by a lake that outflows into an ocean. Let that sink in for a minute. Now put that in perspective. The closest planet to us that even closely resembles ours is said to be 13 light years away (That’s far away in case you were wondering). So...no. I mean big up to Richard Branson and everyone trying to build space shuttles and what not but ummmmmm….. it’s not like another “Earth” is up the block. That being said, we as a species (just in case it’s lost on some of you that read this ….we are all human beings) need to do a better job of getting along on this little blue marble we’ve been blessed to inhabit. I mean after all...it is LITERALLY all that we have. Now granted,  we as a species have been extremely irresponsible with old Mother Earth. I mean down right disrespectful. I don’t have to call the roll. We know how we’ve mistreated and continue to mistreat her. We just need to do better. All of us...myself included. Trust …. i know my carbon footprint is ridiculous. A brotha is working on it though. And that in essence ladies and gentlemen is the key. We all have to do our part to make this world we live in better for us having been a resident of it. Every environment that you enter should be better  for you having been there both literally and figuratively. See trash on the ground? Put it in the trash can (These days it’s usually laying next to the trash can anyway...smh), Unplug the charger, turn off unused lights, carpool, recycle or perform a random act of kindness every single day (What you consider insignificant may just make someone’s day). The ways in which an individual can make this planet a better place for themselves and those around them is virtually endless. I promise you making the world a better place is not as difficult as one may think. It’s just a matter of everyone simply doing “their” part. Don’t you ever - even for one second- think that your contribution towards making this world we live in better for all is meaningless. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

One of the most lauded and influential Football Coaches of all time said it best:

Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work - the late great Vince Lombardi

The fortunate thing about vexation is that it usually precedes change. We as humans tend not to make an effort to change something that we don't like until it gets on out nerves. So embrace the anxiety. Use it to make the positive change you need to make in your life. Anxiety and nerves are only counterproductive when the energy is not put to use. SO! Is where you are in life making you uncomfortable? That mate, job, situation, condition tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines? 

Good.

Vexation often leads to audacity.

So I leave you with this question....

How bold are you?

Structural Integrity©

Whatever good things we build end up building us – Jim Rohn

Structural Integrity as defined by the online reference resource TermWiki is a term used in a guarantee or warranty to assure that a structure’s composition and/or construction will remain intact (for the purposes of this entry, a structure takes on various forms which  I will go over later in greater detail).

In order to build a new structure, you have to demolish the old structure currently standing in the place you wish to build, properly get rid of the rubbish from the demolition, check the foundation and make any necessary repairs to the foundation to ensure that it’s solid. Only then can you properly build the new structure with the assurance that it can handle the purpose intended for it. The most important part of a structure is its foundation. A solid building foundation can mean the difference between a building’s structural integrity lasting a few years or a few centuries. The weaker the foundation the shorter the life span of the structure.

The lives we lead resemble this analogy a lot more than you may realize. In order for an individual to reach their full potential and understand the Creator’s purpose for their lives, there are certain things in it that must be evaluated and if necessary removed. Anything that is hindering a person from becoming who they wish to become, doing what they wish to do, or living the way that they wish to live has no business in their life. Negative associations, relationships, or affiliations – however you wish to classify them oftentimes are the main catalyst in an individual not reaching or even realizing their full potential. No matter how uncomfortable parting ways from a lifelong friend or associate who has been more of an hindrance than of assistance may be, it has to be done. Otherwise you may find yourself unable to make any progress and leading an unproductive and unfulfilling life while unfortunately harboring a life full of regrets.

The earlier you realize that you were created for a purpose and that you were not an accident or some freak of nature regardless of what circumstances you came into this world under, the sooner you will begin to live the life you have always wanted. Now, discovery of purpose involves several factors and they vary depending upon the individual in pursuit of it. Some of those factors include:

The Proper Mindset

The Proper Perspective

The Proper Motivation

The Proper Affiliations

The Proper Direction

And last but certainly not least …. the Proper Spiritual Foundation

As I alluded to earlier in this entry, the proper foundation is everything when it comes to building something. Structures with the proper foundation can stand for centuries through the harshest conditions, most irresponsible of tenants or most extenuating of circumstances. Let’s take some of the ancient monuments and structures that have been erected the world over as examples…. The Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Taj Mahal, The Eiffel Tower, St Peters Basilica, the Washington Monument, The Sydney Opera House not to mention the Pyramids that have been built by a number of civilizations (The Incans, Mayans, Egyptians and Chinese) to name but a few. These engineering marvels have stood for years; even centuries.

Now for those of you that out there who like me aren’t Architects, Stone Masons or Structural Engineers, let me bring it a little closer to home…..

 Families with the proper foundation (values) leave legacies that last for generations. Marriages with the proper foundation (Being equally yoked) can last well into one’s golden years. Children with the proper foundation (principles) grow up to lead fruitful and productive lives.  Individuals with the proper foundation (morals) know that you leave more in this world that you take from it. As Mark Twain so elegantly said:

Don’t go around saying that the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing…. It was here first.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that feel like everyone in the world owes them something. They walk around with a delusional sense of entitlement. The sad thing is that where this type of thought process was not as prevalent amongst individuals in the past, it is running through today’s society in epidemic proportions. A mindset that once was a rarity is now unfortunately the norm and extremely infectious. If one is not careful, Delusional Entitlement Syndrome as I like to call it can be highly contagious. This type of thinking has all but eroded society’s once unspoken code of “paying dues” to obtain success. Now it’s all about how many people you can throw under the bus on your way to the top. Today we live in a society of instant everything. A society where ethics and morality take a backseat to greed and self-indulgence. The thing these people most must realize is the same people you step on to get to the top are the same ones you’re going to see on your way back down the road to destruction. It’s gravity, baby. What goes up must eventually come down. The key is to insure that your decent is not a rapid one. The unadulterated truth of the matter is that deceitful and manipulative tactics all but assure the perpetrator a rapid decent with disastrous consequences (in this life or the next).

One thing I have discovered as I grow older and a little wiser with each passing day that is missing from today’s society, is an individual connection to the history of one’s respective culture (Some more so than others). A connection to one’s history is in this humble author’s opinion the ultimate cornerstone of a properly laid foundation. For the uninitiated, a brief explanation of the Cornerstone (“Foundation Stone” as it is sometimes called) concept. The cornerstone (or foundation stone) concept is derived from the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure.

Now there are several other examples and scenarios I could cover in relation to the importance of having a strong foundation for the structure you wish to build (whatever that structure may represent for you). For fear of sounding repetitive or redundant, I will simply leave you with a little bit of advice someone near and dear to me shared with me.…

The Five P’s are the best example to me of laying the proper foundation before undertaking any endeavor. For those unfamiliar with them, they go a little something like this:

Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance

This principle can be applied to anything….. your occupation, your marriage, your family, your relationships or associations, your goals and dreams, your home…… your life. With proper planning, obstacles don’t seem so overwhelming. With proper planning, you have a reference point to return to when you “lose your way”. With the proper planning, you won’t be easily distracted and can remain focused on the goal or objective you wish to reach. With the proper planning, you are able to live your life as opposed to allowing your life and its circumstances to control you.

Whatever thing you wish to build or create, the best way of ensuring it's longevity is to make sure that the foundation that it is built upon is solid and sound.