The Burden of Invisibility - By JT Morris II

“I denounce because though implicated and partially responsible, I have been hurt to the point of abysmal pain, hurt to the point of invisibility. And I defend because in spite of it all, I find that I love.”

 Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

I just want to live my truth in peace.

I have been forced into staying in a larval state because society hates Black Butterflies.

I have a lot of love in me, I have a lot of peace in me......I have a lot of creativity in me.  I'm a free spirit. However, because I have lived in perpetual state of war since the day I was born on a number of fronts (Family, Work, Love, Relationships), I have never truly felt safe or comfortable enough to actually be true to who I truly am, and the infinite possibilities afforded to me by my limitless capabilities. There is not much I can't do once I set my mind to it.

Nevertheless......life is full of distractions and can be a figurative and literal minefield for the Black Man in America.

Sadly, it too often feels like we are either in the crosshairs of white supremacy or on the battlefield of justice and equality fighting for the rights that are so freely given to seemingly everyone else. Fighting to love and be loved, fighting to smile, fighting to protect our peace........ fighting to preserve our lives in a world seemingly dead set on taking them. Hell, sometimes the fight is just to live a somewhat normal life free of being collateral damage in someone’s flavor of the month Quasi-war against POC.

The stress that comes with living like that is unbearable at times......but by the grace of the Most High God, we find a way. PTSD is not only experienced by soldiers on a battlefield. We are warriors in our own right. Forced into a de facto state of war from the moment we take our first breath. It has been said that the Most High gives his fiercest battles to his strongest warriors. Well, I think it goes without saying that the American Black Male is as strong as they come.

As a 40+ something year old Black Man living in the "United" States, I have firsthand experience on the American Double Standard when it comes to Black Men.

There is an insane amount of toughness you have to have to live as a Black Man in this country.

I know this because I have to mentally prep myself to be ready every day for whatever scenario I may find myself in. The only comfort I have is knowing that my prayers and the prayers of those that love me keep me covered.

Nevertheless, unconscious bias generally dictates eighty to ninety percent (And I feel like I’m being generous here) of most interactions between POC and Non-POC.

When it comes to law-and-order enforcement in this country, Black Men are typically viewed as guilty until proven innocent the majority of the time.

We are generally vilified even when being victimized.

We are expected to comply with the law even in the face of our rights being violated.

More times than not, we stand by and cheer as everyone else is celebrated..... everyone but us.

We show up and do more than what is expected of us, while everyone else gets by with getting away with doing the bare minimum.

We typically deal with the burden of unfair and unrealistic expectations that are not expected of our fairer skinned counterparts.

Our ambition and our passion are interpreted as aggression and anger.

Our intelligence and assertiveness are seen as a threat.

Our inquisitiveness is viewed a lack of intellect or proficiency whereas with anyone else it is "there are no stupid questions".

 Are we perfect? No. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely. The problem is that most of the time we are not allowed to learn from our mistakes because we're too busy trying to survive the disproportionately excessive consequences attached to them. A broken taillight or an expired license can lead to a traffic ticket or citation for one segment of our population but end up being a summary execution for us. I will not waste time going into how the judicial system gives stiffer sentences to POC than they do to whites even though have committed the same crime (I am just over stating the obvious to people at this point). Seems when it comes to seeing Black Men for who they truly are and not what society has scripted us to be, everyone's vision gets blurry, and they become hard of hearing.

Even in our own community, we are not truly respected as we should be. Folks seem to recognize Black Girl Magic a lot faster and with greater frequency than they do Black Boy Joy.......but that is another topic for another day.

Now...…granted, some of us have some work to do.

Thing is though....

Some of us are struggling to truly understand who we are and the role we have to play in the lives of those we love.

Some of us are battling inner demons while also having to war with external ones.

Some of are carrying heavy loads but are too prideful to ask for help because we fear being viewed as incompetent or "good for nothing".

Some of us are mentally at our wits end but will not go seek much needed counseling because of the stigma and ridicule from those closest to us (who probably needs counseling themselves). Take it from someone who has "done the inner work", you tend to experience the worst opposition when you are trying to work on you and the things necessary to improve YOUR quality of life.

Being born in the skin I'm in comes with experiences that built my character. It has allowed me to empathize or even sympathize in situations when it was warranted. It's blessed me with the ability to persevere through the most precarious of situations.  It has blessed me with a level of insight that very few people have. The kind of insight that allows me to proactively navigate the routinely turbulent waters of my existence of America.

In a perfect world, everyone would understand that they should put more into the world than they take from it. In a perfect world, individuals would understand that the world owes you nothing and vice versa. In a perfect world, accountability would be the norm and not the exception to the rule. All things being equal, a person’s skin color would equate to a death sentence for the slightest of offences.

Now don't get it twisted......

I'm Black and I'm proud.

I wouldn't trade bring who, Whose, what and where I am for anything in the world. Has it been rough at times?

Is water wet?

That being said, I just want to take the opportunity to uplift my Black Brothers. I love my Sisters, but this entry is dedicated to the brothers out here in the trenches trying to make the world a better place for the ones they love and for society as whole.

 Shout out to the brothers that reach back into their community to help other brothers after they “make it”. Big up to every brother that finds a way to maintain their composure in the face of the outright disrespect and contempt they receive for simply existing.   The brother out there working multiple jobs to make ends meet for his family. The brother out there doing his best to maintain his sanity in an environment that is anything but inclusive. The brother out there trying to be the best husband and father her knows how to be. The brother out there having to stifle his individuality because it makes others around him uncomfortable. The brother out there being told that he will never amount to anything based on the perspective of a teacher, leader, boss, etc. in a system that was never invested in their growth or development in the first place.

Please know this, you are not alone. You are respected. You are revered. You are a survivor. You are a warrior. You are royalty. The world knows your worth. Why do you think there is such a fanatical effort underway - not just in this country, but globally - to break your spirit and devalue you in the eyes of other cultures?

The ability to achieve success in light of every possible obstacle being placed in your way is a Black Man’s Superpower. The amount of resiliency we show in the face of totally insurmountable odds is the stuff of legend.  The road to equality and inclusion is covered in the blood, sweat and tears of some very strong and misunderstood Black Men who are now seen as heroes who at the time they were fighting for fairness and civil rights in this country were branded Public Enemy Number One.

You know the stories; we pull off the scabs every February.

There is certain amount beauty in the struggle, though.

Spoken like a true masochist, right?

Nothing brings us together as a people like adversity. Yet, there’s a certain joy and an equal amount sadness I take from that previous statement. Joy in that solidarity is the only way that Black People are going to overcome the divisiveness and hatred once again rearing its ugly head in this country for literally the entire world to see (R.I.P George Floyd). Sadness in it should not ALWAYS take adversity, anger and attacks on our quality of life to bring us together.

The African American story was birthed in calamity and misfortune. Slaves were not the first Black People to come to America, but the Transatlantic Slave Trade left a mark on the African American psyche that is still evident four centuries later. The post-traumatic stress of being completely uprooted from your homes and stripped of your identity, is evident in a lot of our people’s sense of urgency and insatiable desire to assimilate into a system that was not created with them in mind. Every brother is most certainly NOT a brother, and they will treat you just like an oppressor (if not worse) to solidify their “place” in the system. Personally, it is those instances when my father’s words come to mind:

 “Watch your six and move accordingly”.

Lately there has been an all-out assault on actual facts and what is actually to be considered true or false. The Truth has become malleable to whatever agenda is being pushed at the given moment. There are even a lot of so-called Christians out there using the word of the Most High God to justify their cruelty and vitriol. Christians that in my opinion need a small reminder of exactly what the God they profess to serve expects of them. I took the liberty 0f listing a few verses for those Christians I’m referring to just in case their memory is a little hazy:

“And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 22:37–39)

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:18)

“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

There are plenty more verses that I could cite, but you get the point.

As I close this entry, I want to do so on the premise that the author of this entry is in no way bitter, angry, resentful or blinded to the fact that a lot of the issues plaguing the African American community are internal ones that can only be resolved internally. Nevertheless, my community’s “issues” does not by any means give any other culture the right to belittle or denigrate it. We need allies, not saviors. Every community has its share of cultural issues. It is that race’s obligation to course correct free of other’s mostly biased criticisms and unfounded conclusions. Some of the worst accidents are caused by distracted driving. Do us all a favor and stay in your own lane.

So, in closing I leave you with this. The human experience centers around being acknowledged for who you are and having your concerns genuinely acknowledged and addressed to your satisfaction.

The burden of invisibility is one of the heaviest of loads to bear because of the solitary nature of it. A weight that typically for the Black Man in America they have too often and too unnecessarily been forced to carry alone.

 

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 2 © By JT Morris

My last entry was meant to drop a few pearls into your spirit derived from my 40+ years of walking this planet.

I walk it like I talk it though. 

In order to get to a level of healthy Self-Awareness, you have to make the "deep dive." To look at yourself so introspectively that it makes you uncomfortable. With that said, I figured I'd reserve Part 2 of my Keys to Living for going over my most intimate "lessons learned":

Lessons Learned 

I’m ok. I'm lovable. I have worth.... but external factors and material possessions do not define who I am. My love for the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and myself does. I define things.... things don't and will never define me.

I am no longer afraid to lose because with loss comes learning.

I no longer intend on being loyal to anyone or anything that is not loyal to me.

I've lived with Rats and Roaches, but I've never had a poverty mindset.

It's not my job to change your mind or convince you to do anything. My only obligation is to provide you with the information that you need to make the decision that best suits you. What comes next depends totally on what YOU choose to do.... For better or for worse.

I am an Empath. I have to be careful of who and what type of feelings I let in. I have a tendency to empathize when I shouldn't care. Everyone doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

A lifetime full of lessons has taught me how to maintain a decent quality of life by not making the mistakes that I have witnessed other people make (a.k.a I don't have to touch the stove to know it's hot).  However, I have also been blessed enough to watch my setbacks turn into set ups. Patience is most definitely a virtue. The key is to keep moving. Movement is life. 

Allow yourself to heal after every loss or tragedy. You can move on after them a lot better if you're not dragging along a lot of unnecessary baggage.

I had to realize and accept that sometimes, you're not the right person for certain people....and that's ok. Life has taught me that we can't be everything to or for everyone and to stop driving myself crazy trying to be.

I hate having my time wasted....in any capacity. I absolutely don’t mind wasting my Money, Material Possessions…. Or hell even my Food. All of those things – over time – can be recovered and/ or recouped. However, I value my time above anything else in this life simply because once time is lost…its gone forever.

This Blessed Life of mine has taught me the following things: 

• What to Agree with
• What to Agree to
• What to Respond to
• When to Respond
• How to Respond
• What to Fight for
• What to Release
• When to stay Silent (Still working on this last one though) 

Life has taught me that you tend get back what you put out. Don't expect someone's best when your effort is mediocre at best.

I tend to only see "it" when I have to see "it” or when I WANT to see "it". However, when I do see "it", my vision is 20/20.

We are so much more than what we "appear" to be. We can miss out on something special being so judgmental while harboring poorly conceived preconceived notions. I am most definitely tired of living in a world where I work just as hard as anyone else to get what I have, yet still having to justify my very existence and the have the very value of my life marginalized simply because of the color of my skin.

Just based on the sheer ignorance I hear coming from people who are rich and well off, I feel it's way past time for some rational people with a little common sense to have abundant wealth and resources. It's out there for the claiming. 

I try to be the very best version of myself every single day. Some days I succeed, some days I miss the mark, some days I barely get there, some days I surprise myself with the level success that I obtain (scary).... but I try to be the best version of myself for that day.... because as I stated earlier in this entry, God honors effort.

It’s ok to “be in your feelings.” You’re human after all.  However, the trick is if those feeling are harmful to your serenity and peace of mind to not let them stay in your spirit. The Good Book says that to every thing there is indeed a season. With that being said there is most certainly a time to “Be in your feelings”. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to share with you some of the keys to not being overwhelmed by them:

• Let them in
• Learn the lesson
• Find the Good in it/ Purpose of it
• Use the energy
• Let the rest go
• Keep moving (Movement is life)
• Fight for what you Love
• Don't quit

I never asked myself or was ever asked what I wanted to be when I "grew up". I missed out on a lot of support and affirmations when I was younger. Which is probably why I'm such a mess now emotionally (I'm working on it, though). However, what I have realized is that everything I have ever needed to become whatever it I was destined or decided to be... was/ is already within me. For better or worse.

So just to sum things up......

This Blessed Life of mine has taught me that: 

• The past is the past and not to dwell in it.
• The present is a gift, live fully in the moment for the future is not promised to anyone.
• Never forget to plan for the future whilst hoping for the best and absolutely preparing for the worst.  

Plant the seed (God honors effort..), allow God to nourish it (Psalms 37:25).....then watch it grow (Proverbs 10:22).

So, there you have them folks, my Keys to Living.

I’m sure you have your own. 

I was raised to share my blessings no matter the form in which they are bestowed upon me. 

We are blessed so that we may be a blessing to others. 

I truly in my heart of hearts hope that these words have blessed you.

Be easy out there Fam and may God continue to bless and keep you.

Peace and Love

Keys to Living - Pearls: Part 1 © By JT Morris

We will not be on this earth forever.

Every day above ground is a blessing and you should live it like it's your last.

There are some people out there who’ve chosen to live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/or dishonesty. For those individuals there will be a day of accountability, reckoning and hopefully atonement. All of these things WILL come to pass when our time here on this little blue marble is over.

Let that last statement marinate for a sec.

Your mental foundation is rooted in either triumph or tragedy. Your mind and heart anchors itself in either your greatest victory, your soundest defeat or your most resounding failure.

One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will make that next loan payment. We will not have to fret on where our next meal will come from or how we're gonna pay for that house or car.

At any time the Most High could take us from this earth. 

That being said, you should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. When you wake up each morning, thank the Most High for waking you up. When you lie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for blessing you with another wonderfully blessed day.

Sometimes the Most High presents us with issues that will test our faith, but you have to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what He says. His word does not return unto Him void. The message for today is to praise the Most High, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and live every day like it is your last. Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, other than wake us up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes on our backs, we should thank Him. That doesn't mean settle or be complacent. God definitely honors effort. No......I'm simply saying be grateful for the blessings bestowed upon you, but never stop searching for your divine purpose or the gift that the Most High has placed within you.

Always remember that life isn’t nearly as complicated as we make it. Life is simple……. It’s us humans that have this pesky knack of making things difficult for ourselves based on our life choices. In my humble opinion, the quality of the life lead basically comes down to the actions that we take and the decisions that we make (or don’t take and/ or refuse to make). You make choices, you act on said choices and don’t you don’t look back.

As the Good Book reminds us: 

• Psalms 118:24 - This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!
• Psalms 118:29 - Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; for his love endures forever.
• Proverbs 10:22 -The blessings of the Lord maketh rich, and he addedth no Sorrow with it  
• Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

With the aforementioned Good Book verses in mind, I figured I’d share some of my keys to living a fruitful and serene life. Below are a few pearls of wisdom that have been shared with me over years from a variety of sources. Some are mine gifted to me from living a life of observation and having an evolutionary mindset. This life is full of teachable moments. We just have to be open to receiving the lessons regardless of how they are taught or how they make us feel. I was raised to believe that anything that the Most High blesses us with should be Paid Forward.

So, without further ado I present to you a collection of my Keys to Living or as I like to refer to them:

Light Bulb Moments

Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, for God knows whether or not we mean it from the heart.

Help those in need as a gift from your heart, and not so you can get a pat on the back.

Put forth extra effort in everything that you do. Go after what you want in life and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. No matter how perfect you think you are there is always room for improvement, and an opportunity for you to do better.

If you are depressed, cry if you need to. However once you're done, hold your head up and know that the Most High will help you through. Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state of depression, then go talk to someone about it (Preferably a Licensed professional). Whatever it is that you are depressed about; God will take that pain from your heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, or maybe not even the next day, but He WILL do it if for you. All He asks is for you to trust Him. As my folks always say.....God may not show up when YOU want Him to, but He's ALWAYS right on time. God will not give us more than we can bear and if He allows it, it is to force us to course correct.

Check on your "strong" friends every once and a while. They're probably just as tired and frustrated as you are. Difference is they are usually the ones you go to to vent. They may need to "drop some weight too". Be there for them like they're there for you. You can’t draw water from an empty well.

Don't waste your life trying to fix something that's meant to stay broken.

Master your Energy:

• FOCUS – Face Obstacles Causing Ur Stagnation
• SEX - Sacred Energy Exchange (Soul Ties)
• GPS – God’s Peace Sustains
• EASE – Evaluate it, Accept it, Survive it, Evolve from it/ Excel because of it

Peace +Serenity+ Positivity +Happiness+ Joy – Negativity – Toxic Life Situations = Wholeness

God and the Ego cannot exist in the same space. Ego is confidence absent humility.

True love is rare. Solid connections are priceless. Losing both is heartbreaking. What do you do when the people you love that actually made you feel loved are taken away? They are in a better place, yes. Mine not so much. However, I do take comfort in that one day – Lord Willing – that I will one day be reunited with the ones I dearly love that have passed on.

 Just because people don't understand your worth or appreciate your value doesn't make you any less valuable or worthless.

People of questionable character do exactly what they want to, how they want to do it, when they want to do it and as many times as they want to do it......... unapologetically. Quit acting like you don't see and/ or understand that. You're only frustrating and hurting yourself.

God is a God of order. Even the Chaos in the universe has structure to it. Have you ever looked at the images of an Asteroid field or a meteor shower? Free floating chunks of ice or debris confined to a certain area of space. Our Solar System.... Our positioning in this Galaxy places us at just the right distance from the Sun in order for life not only to exist but to thrive. Only God can allow order and structure to exist in the midst of Chaos and Dysfunction.

There's nothing wrong with our youth. They just know how to call bullsh*t on what they see out here and are actually willing to do something about it. They just need to channel that energy into something constructive and productive. They are simply products of their environments. Change the environment, change the narrative, and you can and will change the future.

People spend a whole lot of money on designers that never intended for them to buy their gear to impress folks that could care less about them or what they're wearing.

Clothes don't make the man but damn it it's ok to be stylish.

Stay ready so you won’t have to get ready. Opportunity doesn’t wait for us to prepare. You have to be ready to move when it reveals itself.

Failure has never been and must not ever be an option.... not just by choice, but out of necessity. For necessity is not only the mother of invention, it’s also the catalyst for audacity.

Being a great steward of all the Most High has blessed us with is a 24 hour a day, 365 day a year responsibility.

It is what it is.  Accept it, learn from it, and grow from it.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done; what truly matters is what you decide to do right now. Now is all that you have. Live in the moment.

Sometimes it’s okay to go off the grid for a minute and sort some stuff out. No Social Media, no phone, no email, no texts…. Nothing. If anything goes down guess what? It’s going to go down whether you’re available or not. Love you. Take Care of you. At the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got. The first rule of survival is self-preservation. Always be kind to yourself and be easy out there.

Hope + No Action = Wishes

Faith + Works = Action

You can hope and wish as much as you want for something, but you must have faith in order to activate the blessing.

The Blessing of the Most High enriches your life and he adds no sorrow with it (Proverbs 10:22). The beautiful thing about the Most High’s blessings is that typically there's always enough to share.

Loss isn't to be feared. It's the natural order of things. It signifies that a season is over. It initiates a new beginning. HE makes all things new. GOD in HIS infinite wisdom gave us stillness. Treasure it.... for that's where your growth is and therein is where true freedom lies.

It's ok to be insistent and persistent, but you never have to beg for anything that you need or want. For Believers, what's destined for them is freely given and readily provided by the Most High. It's the timing that tends to make us anxious. That's why it pays to have the proper perspective about your situation. Having the proper perspective on people, events and things is the key to maintaining YOUR sanity and retaining YOUR peace.... For it is truthfully the ONLY thing in this life that we can actually control.

If you have a job, thank the Lord for your place of employment (Even if you would much rather be working some place else). Ask Him to give you the knowledge and the wisdom to do your job. If you hate your job, ask Him to direct you to the job that is right for you (...or ask him for the resources to start your own business). 

If you don't have a job, thank him anyway but ask Him to order your steps to the gig that's right for you. 

Ask the Most High to order your steps and bless you in everything that you do. Be thankful for what you have, and the life that God has bestowed upon you. 

When you are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer thanking the Lord for providing food and nourishment for your body. There are folks out there that have no idea where their next meal is coming from.

If you are healthy, thank the Lord for your health and strength. If you aren't as healthy or as fit as you would like to be, thank Him anyway. Ask Him to heal your body and then get busy putting in the work necessary to obtain your desired fitness and wellness level (God Honors Effort). Life is truly sweetest when you take time out to express gratitude for the "little" things.


The next time that you get mad or feel yourself becoming ungrateful remember that just as quickly as you have been blessed with it, you can lose it.

Next time you want to know if something you did or said upset or offended someone, honestly ask yourself this: If the roles were reversed, would it offend or upset me? The answer may surprise you…. or not.

Your beliefs shape your experiences.... your experiences shape your perception.

Reminiscing is good but not at the expense of living in the moment.

Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. When you adjust your thinking, all that extra stress disappears.

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

A stunningly beautiful woman is only to be admired but never desired.

Genuinely loving the wrong woman is costly on so many levels.  Life has taught me that truly loving yourself draws to you the kind of love that you desire and deserve.

Symmetry and order are beautiful to behold. Unseemly things are things that have no order, function or balance to them.

Forgiveness is the ointment that heals the heart, mind and soul....

Yet most of the time the people that hurt you don't deserve your forgiveness. Forgive them anyway. It's not for them.... it’s for you. Just never forget how they made you feel....and promise yourself to never let anyone make you feel that way ever again.

Never allow people who can't even chew gun and walk at the same time to tell you what you can't do.

When someone shows you their true nature, accept it for what it is. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck....it's not a rhinoceros.

People have normalized the exception to the point that the exception is now the norm.

Mediocrity is now celebrated as Extraordinary. Once upon a time becoming and being truly exceptional meant "paying your dues". Now ...not so much.

It's okay to be a tad bit selfish and fall back on being so nice all time. THIS world doesn't truly respect that sh*t anyway.

You could spend all day poking all kinds of holes in the "advice" and commentary you get from cynical and pessimistic people, but it's not even worth the amount of the brain cells you'd use trying to. Folks believe what they want to believe and roll the way they want to roll. Let ‘em ball. Let them say what the feel like they need to say as long as it’s done in a civil and respectful manner. However, there is a line and no amount of money, manner of privilege or faux entitlement will prevent you from reaping the consequences of your actions if you cross it.

Only an insecure person or an idiot claims to know everything. The truly wise and intelligent person understands to observe more than they speak. Cease speaking on matters you clearly know nothing about. People rarely share "pearls of wisdom" with people who claim to know it all. More times than not, silence is truly golden.

People can't tell you whether what you're doing is either right or wrong......but your consequences will. Your conscience will. Your Karma most definitely will. If they haven't yet.... Just keep living. That bill always comes due.

To be continued ....