Declaration of Independence ©

Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free – John 8:32 NIV

Those of you that know me know that I like to play things particularly close to the vest. However, today’s entry is one of a personal and albeit more candid nature.

 I’ll start this entry by saying that as I have matured both mentally and spiritually, I find it easier to say what I want and need to say as long as it is rooted in truth. Not my truth, but truth revealed from a higher and more trusted authority. Not saying that I myself am untrustworthy, but that God’s truth is more time tested, all encompassing and is ultimately sovereign. However as we all know or have and most definitely will eventually come to know, the truth at times can be most inconvenient.  Especially if that truth flies in the face of everything we know or have been raised to believe. Nevertheless, it is the truth and regardless of when you acknowledge its validity, it still remains the fact of matters. It just is what it is and it’s going to be what it’s intended to be. Regardless of what amount of considerable effort one puts forth to avoid or conceal it.   

That being said, in my humble opinion truth is synonymous with freedom. You’ve heard the old adage. No truer words have ever been spoken.  Speaking the truth, even if it is an inconvenient one sets everyone in earshot free. At that moment, everyone is free to believe and feel what they want as is their God given right and privilege.  The unfortunate problem with today’s society is that it is short on free thinking individuals. People in today’s society find it much easier to believe someone else’s truth as opposed to formulating and standing on their own. That’s concerning and a tad bit disheartening. Disheartening in the fact that God blessed us all with free will and so many of us forfeit it for the sake of “fitting in” or “keeping the peace”. While I for one love peaceful coexistence, I understand that there will be lapses of harmony in said existence because of people’s differences. I say lapses because they don’t have to be permanent rifts. The rift and discord only becomes permanent because we as human beings due to pride, poor communication skills, preconceived notions, seared consciences or flawed perception allow them to be. The beautiful thing about the pure and unadulterated truth is that it transcends all of the aforementioned states of consciousness.

I personally, now as I have matured - notice I said matured and not as I have grown "older" for you are only as "old" as you feel - understand what my parents were trying to tell me back in the day. The wisdom they tried to impart onto a little knucklehead boy from Bordeaux who didn’t even realize how good he had it until it was stripped away from him early in the game by his parent’s divorce and all of the disharmony and discord that followed. I learned you are never as free over the course of your life as you were when you were a child. As for me when I was a child (well early in my childhood) I had no obligations. My only “job” was to go to school, clean my room, do what my parents and other family members asked of me and go play. My truth was that I was loved, provided for, cared for and protected. That allowed me to be the best I could be in school and in extracurricular activities. My only concerns were not doing anything to lose the freedoms I had been given by my parents by doing bonehead stuff. My dad being ex military and my  mom being old school down south born and raised kind of helped keep a brother in check. I can honestly say I owe everything I am today to my parents taking a vested interest in what I did and did not do as a youngster. Nevertheless, I learned at an early age that all good things undoubtedly come to an end. My “truth” became distorted and at an early age I had to “grow up”. At an age where kids were enjoying their adolescent years, I was working and paying bills to keep the lights on at the crib. At an age when most people if they are afforded the opportunity to go to college are partying and focusing on finishing school to begin their careers to create families of their own, I was working three jobs, attending classes and trying to have some semblance of a college experience. Yeah my truth had become “by any means necessary”.    If you are reading this and have ever been there, you understand what all that entails. No need for elaboration. I say all of that to say that as I have traveled this road of life; my truth was not always one I happily signed up for. At times it was forced upon me either by others or by the decisions I made along the way. All of which I can truthfully say were not always the best ones. Nonetheless, they were my decisions and you won’t hear me making excuses for them. I understand accountability and all that comes along with it. This is what I find concerning about the state of affairs in our world today. People aren’t willing to own up to their part of things. They are quick to stand up when praise is being passed around but look for the deepest and darkest hole when it’s time to account and atone for mistakes. “Passing the buck” seems to be the theme of the day now. “Throwing people under the bus” is some people’s favorite pastime. I have even unfortunately met my share of bus drivers. People are so quick to point out other’s shortcomings and flaws in order to divert attention away from their own. Or maybe they are intimidated by an individual’s drive and/ or wisdom, knowledge base or skill set.  Whatever the reason for their insecurity, it is easily remedied. Spend more time improving yourself and less time tearing down others. I guarantee you will have less time to throw stones.

As for me, I am constantly in a state of evolution. I am always looking for ways to better myself. That does several things for me. It staves off complacency, all but eradicates jealousy, keeps me proactive instead of reactive, allows me to celebrate the success of others, and helps me to not entertain the foolishness of others. I’m too busy. An idle mind is most definitely the devil’s workshop. Take it from someone that has allowed the devil a shift or two in the workshop of their mind. Dude was getting benefits and had a 401 k for a sec. I had to let him go though. The overhead was too damn high and his workmanship was shoddy. Plus he kept breaking stuff and pissing off the other employees. 

But I digress…

When you are in a constant state of evolution, you are constantly moving. Constantly trying to position yourself to receive life’s best. Don’t be deceived, you cannot receive life’s best void of any effort. Nothing is going to be handed to you in this life. Anyone that has ever been successful at anything has paid dues of some kind. Now granted they may make it look easy, but trust…..it wasn’t.

Now a little background on why I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence. 

Anyone that knows me knows that I appreciate clarity. 

In all things…. 

Some appreciate me for that, some don’t. Where you are on the appreciation scale is of no concern to me. Clarity is the only way I can truly appreciate people and their differences. If I’m clear on how you are and what you represent, I know better how to deal with you good, bad or indifferent. That being said, I can honestly say it took me years and a lot  introspection to get to this point. I have also entertained a lot of foolishness along the way and for those people that got on my last nerve and went out of their way to inconvenience me in every aspect of my life I just have one thing to say……. Thank you! Were it not for you, I would not know or truly understand what it means to have peace of mind. If it were not for you I would not understand what it’s like to forgive. If it weren’t for you, I would not have the sort of patience that I have now. Thank you for reinforcing my discipline and tempering my resolve. Thank you for helping to me figure out who my true friends are. I am sincerely thankful for you from the bottom of my heart. I entitled this entry Declaration of Independence because I want to share my story of my escape from bondage with you. Yes, bondage… and not the pleasurable type. I ain’t Christian Grey and I don’t have 50 shades. The bondage of which I speak is the kind that we at times allow ourselves to be placed in due to people’s unfair expectations for our lives. We burden ourselves with unspoken obligations that shackle us to people, places and things unnecessarily. We also allow fear, doubt and regret place us in a state of mental, emotional and sometimes even physical bondage. I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I can or even care to remember. The worst part of this kind of enslavement is that it is most of the time self-imposed. We tend to sign up for it by not living in the truth of the situation. We also enslave ourselves by setting unfair and unreasonable expectations on people that most of the time don’t even know those expectations are present or even have the ability of meeting or the desire to pursue the expectations that have been set. Or how about neglecting yourself or not being the person God intended you to be in order to “keep the peace” . No peace is worth keeping if it does not allow you the freedom to be who you want or need to be. So declare your independence.  I have declared mine and it started in the most unlikeliest of places under the most unexpected of circumstances.

My independence started with a move.

For you see I had been a slave to the whims of other people nearly my entire life. The whims of family, friends, lovers, “mentors”, etc. Slave to people’s unfair expectations, preconceived notions , seared consciences and severely flawed perceptions. The beautiful thing about God’s love for us is that he does what’s best for us even if we don’t fully appreciate or understand what His intentions are for our lives. I can honestly say that it was not until God ordered my steps into the desert that I felt I was allowed a furlough from my self- imposed and unspoken obligations to everyone in my life. Funny how God works, huh. He isolates you so he can get a word to you. So that you are able to hear His direction clearly.  That’s His thing and he has been doing it for millennia. Don’t believe me? Read the Word. Moses on Mt Sinai, Jonah in the Belly of a Whale, John the Baptist on the Isle of Patmos or Saul on Damascus Road. Now I do not to profess to be as righteous as any of the aforementioned individuals. Nonetheless, a wilderness experience is a wilderness experience and the outcome of this sort of experience at any level is life altering. So here I am, living in the Valley of the Sun. Out here all by my lonesome and apparently all according to God’s plan for my life. You see, while  I am the only child from my parent’s marriage and have learned to cherish my solitude…. God’s isolation plan for our lives is solitude on an entirely different level.   It has been my experience that  not only will He remove certain people from your life but he will also prevent you from forming bonds with certain people that will distract you from fulfilling His purpose for your life as well. Unfortunately, everyone is not supposed to be in your circle and everyone that claims to be your friend is not. Clarity and spiritual discernment allows one to know the difference. Now I understand that nobody’s perfect and that you can’t possibly hope to be everything for everybody. However, you do have the ability to be something to somebody. You have the ability to be a provider, a nurturer, a protector, an advisor, a counselor, a confidant (That means somebody can tell you something and you not run and tell the entire world about it…for the uninitiated), and a motivator. Yes we all have the ability to be something to someone. However, before we can be any of those things we have to be all of those things for ourselves. For you can’t hope to be any of those things for others and not have a source or supply to draw from once people have depleted yours. Now here comes the tricky part. It’s easy to be any of the aforementioned things for someone we love or truly care for. But what about people we barely know? People that come into your life not by accident or coincidence (because in my humble opinion there is no such thing) but for a purpose. That’s the true test. Can you be more than just a placeholder? Can you offer a smile, a compliment or kind word, a hug, a service, your loyalty…..your presence? Are you so caught up in yourself and what’s important to you that you can’t even sacrifice one moment of your time to make sure someone is ok or in a “good place”. Or are you just a parasite? Sucking the life out of your host and then moving on to the next one. That last question was rhetorical. Most parasitic people never own up to it anyway.

You see, life has taught me that the only way that a person can ever truly be free is to free their mind. To get their thinking clear. We live in a society where we are now forced to process so much information. It’s everywhere and readily accessible at a moment’s notice. That’s why it is vital that we carefully screen what we allow into our minds. Free thinking allows one to appreciate the blessings that they have instead of falling susceptible to greed and envy. Free thinking will allow you to understand that it is better to be alone and happy than in a relationship or situation and be miserable. Free thinking will force you to stop punishing yourself for past misdeeds and mistakes and allow you to press on in the direction you were intended to. Free thinking forces you to accept the truth of a matter (whatever that may be) and makes you drop "dead weight". When your mind is free and clear of the world’s clutter, you are in a better position to make the best decisions regarding your quality of life. Quality of life…. A term truly taken for granted these days. It means different things to different people but the one consistent theme is that people want one that is enjoyable and allows them ability to do whatever it is that there heart truly desires. Many of us are blessed enough to actually have the ability to enjoy that sort of quality of life. All of us have the ability to. The difference is that those of us that have gotten to a place where we enjoy life for what it is understand that we had to give up certain things in order to obtain it. You see some people get blessed with a new start that can improve their quality of life and try to drag a bunch of old stuff with them. Stuff that the Creator intended for you to leave behind. He does not deliver you from your old life and open the door to a new one only for you to bring along your junk.  

Not following me?

Let me clear it up for you a little:

You get delivered from alcohol and drug abuse, and you keep hanging with “the crew” that smokes and dopes.

 The divorce is final on Monday and you back in the club looking for the next Mr. or Mrs. on Friday without even processing what the hell just happened.... dragging all of your unaddressed issues into the next relationship.

 You are a baby mama… again.

You are a baby daddy…again.

You are locked up…. again.

You are unemployed… again.

I mean the list of scenarios is virtually endless. I get it though. Change can be frightening. A fresh start can be overwhelming and we as human beings crave security and consistency. Some people have had an extremely hard life. I absolutely understand that. However, that is never an excuse for not wanting to do better.  Nobody has all the answers and unfortunately not everyone has common sense. Nonetheless, unless you were born with some kind of mental impairment or have been unfortunate enough to acquire some sort of  mental disability …. You have the ability to do better. All you need is a plan. Everything may not go according to it, but you will most definitely be in a better place than you were without it. Besides, the God I serve honors effort…but you have to do your part. Yes…sometimes the only way one can truly be free is with a fresh start. I'm telling you something that I know from firsthand experience.  God knew that the only way for me to be truly free and in position to receive His best was to remove me from everything and everyone I have ever known. I can honestly say that that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. For you can’t truly appreciate independence if you don’t actually know you are in bondage.

As for me…..I have declared my independence and will never take it for granted again. The beautiful thing is that you can too. If you choose to.  I implore you to do so. However you must understand that doing so is not for the faint of heart but once experienced, you will never allow yourself to be forced into bondage of any kind and will never settle for anything less than total independence ever again.