"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."
Deepak Chopra
Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word Midst. The one that truly stuck out to me for the purposes of today’s entry I have listed below for you:
the middle point, part, or stage (usually preceded by the):
Ex. We arrived in the midst of a storm.
As previously stated, there were a number of definitions that I could have used for this entry but I found this particular definition most relevant to today’s topic because of the example that followed the it.
We arrived in the MIDST of the storm..
I feel it’s worth noting here that in order to ever get to a place of peace, one must endure a countless number of storms. The most peaceful location within a hurricane is at it’s center. Now I’m no meteorologist or climatologist but, usually there is a whole lot of chaos preceding and following one reaching the eye of the storm.
I’m kind of getting ahead of myself though…...
More on that later.
Over the course of my life I have learned the following things:
- Never focus on any emotion or feeling for too long....Good, bad or indifferent.
- Being content for too long can make you complacent and unmotivated.
- Being passive for too long makes you bitter and resentful.
- Being optimistic for too long makes you naive and delusional.
- Being angry for too long makes you unfeeling and unsympathetic.
- Being sad for too long makes you depressed and hopeless.
- Being animated for too long leaves you tired and exhausted.
The point ...too much of a good thing can be bad for you while too much of a bad thing will definitely kill your spirit if you allow it to.
The key in my humble opinion is to find a quiet place somewhere in the midst of all of those feelings. Let them in ...but never let them stay. We were never meant to experience emotions over an extended period of time. This explains why we have so many of them. If we were meant to hold onto a particular set of emotions then we would have had those particular emotions coded in our DNA like hair and eye color.
I say all this to say that it's ok to feel certain emotions. All of them. What’s crucial is to recognize them for what they are, truly understand the cause of said emotion, fully experience it, take the necessary action to channel it into something useful and once the emotion has passed let it go in order to move forward with your life.
Yes….. we are ALL emotional creatures. I say all because women get the rep of being hyper emotional while us men are supposedly the calm, collected ones. Take it from me.... that is simply not the case. The only thing that separates men from women emotionally is a man’s ability to apply logic to his emotions on "the fly". I must say though, i know plenty of women that have mastered this ability while i have found that some men severely lack it.
But that's another entry for another time.
We all must find a safe place within us. Meaning we have a place within ourselves where we can go when we seek happiness and peace. So many of us seek peace in external and tangible things only to constantly come up disappointed. That's because tangible things have a shelf life. It's the intangible things that prove to be timeless and more meaningful.
We must all find a serene place in the midst of the chaos of our emotions. I have found that meditation and prayer (the two can be mutually exclusive but i have found that they work well together) can aid an individual in this pursuit. However, this requires a full commitment from us to the search for the sort of peace and serenity that we seek (which i might add is not for the faint of heart). Trust me when i tell you....the more you seek to live a life of peace, the more hell you will experience before you eventually obtain it. This is why it requires the utmost attention to detail, discipline and determination to master one's emotions. Simply because we either learn to master our emotions or they will eventually master us.
Life’s storms have a way of either bringing out the best in us or the absolute worst. Believe me when I tell you that I have experienced both. The latter being the lowest point of my life while also proving to be the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to me. Only a select few will understand what I mean or how that is even possible. Yes….life’s storms will take the extremest of tolls on your psyche and well being if you allow it to. Which is why it is extremely important to never allow yourself to focus entirely on one particular emotion when things get hectic. See a lot of us tend to focus on the “dominant” emotion associated with a particular life event. I say the dominant emotion because one can experience several emotions simultaneously. We just choose to focus on one. That one emotion usually determines our response to what occurs to us.
For example:
You have an argument with you spouse/ significant other before you head to work. Which sets you in a particular mood.You replay the argument subconsciously over and over in your head throughout the day. Instead of putting the issue aside to address later and going on with your day, you choose to dwell on it. Suddenly, things that you wouldn’t think twice about or wouldn’t even pay attention to begin to irk you:
You’re not as social as you usually are with people. That one coworker that you can usually ignore is tap dancing on your last nerve like Gregory Hines. You have a “bad” day at work. The commute home was “hellacious”. Your bag falls open in the driveway on your way into the house which frustrates you. You and your spouse/ significant other walk by each other in silence for the entire evening...well at least until he or she does something that you don’t like.
Your day probably could have gone so much better had you “compartmentalized” your anger and not let it affect your attitude for an entire day. Somewhere during the day you had an opportunity to take a step back and reset. The problem is with many us is that we never do mainly because we don’t have a “safe” place within us. Our situations are only as bad as we determine that they are or we allow them to be. Peace and Serenity requires a positive response to negative stimuli. Now I am not delusional. I know that some days this is most definitely easier said than done. Especially in the society that we live in today. People are so emotionally oblivious or intentionally cruel to one another now. I mean the level of disrespect that people show one another is ridiculous. This requires us to be proactive and vigilant when it comes to our own happiness.
Benjamin Franklin said it best:
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
The only person on this planet that is truly concerned about your happiness and well being on a consistent basis is you. Yes...we have family. You may even be blessed enough to have a boatload of friends. Nevertheless, they can not live your life for you and they have lives of their own. We can’t expect others to give us what we truly need and want for ourselves. It is our job to make ourselves happy, not someone else’s. Individuals have to accept the responsibility of improving their own quality of life and for finding the peace and serenity they so desperately seek. That being said, the only place where I have personally determined that peace can be found is in the midst of a stable environment. Peace is a by product of structure and order. Chaos serves only to remind you of what an environment is like void of peace. It is never meant to become the standard. Unfortunately for so many of us, chaos and confusion is our modus operandi. Individuals that live this way never have lasting peace. Every time they get it, they intentionally or unintentionally disrupt it. Some would rather sabotage their own happiness for fear of acknowledging the way that they have currently chosen to exist is toxic. That would mean acknowledging that something needs to be corrected. Heaven forbid. I mean after all …..it’s not you…...it’s them. Right?
But i digress…..
As for me....Life has taught me that in the midst of my pain and sorrow.... I find peace. Why? Well for several reasons. First. i know it’s only temporary. Second, I know that He that is greater than I am and ever could be will work everything out for my good. Thirdly, i know that once the pain is gone, i have learned the lesson and my wounds have healed….. that greater is coming. That’s how I cope. That’s my “safe" place within. It’s up to you to find yours. The sooner you do, the sooner you can obtain all of the best that life has in store for you.
Your destiny is tied to your peace. I honestly suggest you start the search for yours today.
It’s never too late.
No ….it won't be easy.
But it will most definitely be worth it.
