In a
world of prayer, we are all equal in the sense that each of us is a unique
person, with a unique perspective on the world. A class of one.
W.H.
Auden
People also have the oddest views on what makes someone the type of person they are and most of the time their opinion is based on someone else’s. That’s why I honestly believe that any time you spend trying to convince someone you are a good person or that you are not a bad person is an absolute waste of time and energy. Someone either recognizes you are a good person or they don’t. If they don’t, then more than likely it’s because they can’t. The likely reason that they can’t is because they have never been exposed to anyone like you before so they don’t have a frame of reference or the slightest clue of what a good person looks like or how one operates. Then there is also the distinct possibility that they want to be the type of person that you are but for whatever reason can’t, and instead of respecting you for your abilities, they hate you for them. That’s why it is truly important to be extremely selective about the people you allow into your space. It is essential that you make sure that they aren't wolves in sheep's clothing. Here is one way you can tell... there are several that I’ll cover later on. If your "friend" is always quick to accept and slow to give... there may be as my grandfather used to say "a fox in the hen house". Nonetheless, one person’s saint is another one’s sinner in the grand scheme of things. We have all been blessed with free will and have the right to think whatever we want about anyone or anything. The key is making sure that whatever your opinion may be, make sure that it’s an objective one. In order to have objectivity one must have the proper perspective. The Free Dictionary by Farlex defines Perspective as “a mental view or outlook”. Perspective is truly one’s opinion of what they see or experience. Consequently, how we view one another usually comes down to the opinion that we have formed (or have had formed for us) about those around us. Now, I am by no means an expert in Behavioral Science or an expert on human behavior. Nonetheless, I would like to share with you a little of the insight life has afforded over the years.
Have you ever dealt with an individual that always talks about the goodness of God and how he is so faithful? Yet whenever you see them they are asking for a "favor" or taking what they have no right to. Or maybe you have been in the presence of someone that is always accepting people's generosity but is EXTREMELY slow to return the favor. Then there is the individual that tries to shame you for not being there when they "needed you" but is nowhere to be found when you truly need them. Oh oh or how about this one.... the individual that gives with the sole purpose and expectation of receiving something in return and not from the kindness of their heart. If you have had the displeasure of dealing with the type of person described in any of the aforementioned scenarios then you my friend have met a Benevolent Imposter.
Now... please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. I'm not saying that anyone should just walk around endangering their well being, livelihood or quality of life by giving everyone they meet the shirt off their back. I am not saying that one should walk around with their heart on their sleeve to prove to people that they are indeed a benevolent person. As a matter of fact I HIGHLY recommend putting that joint back in your chest where it belongs to save yourself a lot of anguish and disappointment. I am merely saying that there are people out there whose number one goal in life is self satisfaction, even if it is at someone else's expense. The thing is to get close to someone, they will do and say what needs to be done and said to "get in where they fit in" and sometimes that means they become a Benevolent Imposter. I know. I have been fooled on SEVERAL occasions. I have been fooled into believing someone had a kind heart and virtuous spirit only to later discover they were an emissary straight from the depths of hell. Sometimes it boils down to intentional then other times the person just doesn’t know any better or has had a life so chaotic or full of strife that all they know. However, ignorance is never an excuse for mistreating someone. The thing that allows me to move past people's deception, ignorance and disrespect is a) what I believe b) in Whom I believe and c) the fact that not everyone believes what I believe and that its their God given right not to. That being said though if you fit the characteristics of a Benevolent Imposter (if you do and you are a true BI then you would never openly admit it anyway) understand that you get what you give in this life and that Karma is not a respecter of persons. You do eventually reap what you sow. that’s why it is always essential to sow good seed if you wish to continuously receive the best life has to offer. Sure it looks like the people out here spewing negativity and taking advantage of people are getting ahead...on the surface. But I assure you that if you peel back a few layers you'll see the torment, the agony, the frustration, the regret, the discontent with the type of life they have created for themselves. I recently heard this quote that sums their mindset up best:
"Once you have done what you have to do, they will never let you do what you want to do"
In my opinion that sums up life in a nutshell. We all are face with situations when we have to what's necessary to survive. It is in these moments when what’s right or what’s wrong truly becomes a matter of perspective. Over the years I have learned that the most important thing to remember when faced with the aforementioned situation is to keep your vision clear. Clarity (although not favored by most people because it forces accountability) allows one to have the proper perspective when the survival instinct kicks in. And it will. And when it does and you have made your choice - at least if your vision is clear when the choice was made - there should be little to no regret. Simply because you simply did what you felt in your heart you had to do. Now.... the other side of that coin is making rash and emotionally charged decisions when the survival instinct kicks in. We have all done it, myself included. I don’t know about you but the amount damage control and hell I experienced after the fact trying to set things right wasn't even worth it. It is when we make irrational choices and rash decisions - all in the interest of self preservation - is when we generally do or say things we wish we could take back. Well if you have a conscious or any sort concern for the damage or discomfort that may befall others because of your actions anyway. I’m slowly learning that having a conscious in today’s society is more of the exception than the norm. Most people nowadays will pretty much do anything to anybody and frame it as them only doing what was eventually going to be done to them anyway. Today we live in a society full of damaged people with seared consciences. The “get them before they get me” mindset is so prevalent in today’s society that people can’t even poke fun at one another without someone taking offense to what is said or making mountains out of molehills. Now granted, some of these people of whom I make mention have every right to feel this way given their past. However, these people also have to accept responsibility and accept accountability for the decisions they made (some highly questionable in fact) that caused them to end up in somebody’s crosshairs. Now… no one is perfect and not everyone can be “Christ like” every hour of every day. Simply because guess what… You are not Jesus Christ. You are not the Son of God. If you believe as I believe then you know that you were made in the image of the Most High. However, we are a slightly flawed version of the original. Okay…. severely flawed. Nevertheless, mistakes will be made. Consequences will be reaped. Unpleasant experiences will leave its scars (externally as well as internally). Yet in spite of all these things, we should never go into any situation with a preconceived notion of the outcome. Nor should we ever use past experience to determine how we handle people that have not given us a reason to do so. God does not reveal things to us about people, places or things for us to judge them or criticize them. He shows us these things so that we can understand and better appreciate them. Even if we don’t necessarily agree with it or care for what we see. Honestly, how we feel about what is revealed is our personal opinion and in the grand scheme of things means absolutely nothing to anybody but us. That being said, understand the importance of timing and tact. The Word of God explicitly says that there is a time and a place for everything and also that the power of life and death is in the tongue.
The unfortunate thing is that some people do not understand the power that they wield. Some people have no clue how powerful there words can be. I hear some parents talk to their children like someone they meet on the street. Cursing them without thought to how this ultimately will determine how this child accepts criticism from others and how they will eventually communicate with other people. With no concern with how this will make the child view figures in position of authority. With no idea that when the child becomes old enough to rebel, no amount of discipline or number of threats will make them “mind”. Then there is yet another side of the coin, our interpersonal relationships. Gossiping about people, slandering people’s good name, speaking on situations without obtaining all the facts and swearing it’s gospel… I mean the list of possible misuses of the power of the tongue is literally endless. The absolutely ironic (and sometimes comical) things about this is that when the tables are turned and the one gossiping gets called out, or the slanderer has their dirty laundry on display then all of a sudden the fall into what my homegirl calls a state of “victimdom”. Yeah… I know it’s not a word, but it should be. Mainly because it accurately describes people who stay doing dirt yet always play the victim when they find themselves on the receiving end of that same grimy treatment. Yet to them they are doing nothing wrong and how dare you call them out. As scary a thought as this may be, can’t you just imagine what is going on in the brain of someone like that:
“I mean seriously, we’re not even talking about me…we’re talking about you. What’s the matter with you? I don’t want anyone to know how shady I am. How jacked up my life is. How I think that some attention (whether it be good or bad) is better than no attention at all. If people knew all this foolishness I was doing on the back end trying to keep all the negative attention focused on you, they would probably not even deal with me anymore! Cut that out and take this tongue lashing.”
The sad thing is that as much as these people try to hide their intentions and try to portray to the world that they have it all together while trying to make the world view others in an unfavorable fashion, people who are not caught up in appearances and worry little about the opinions of others see them for exactly who they are. Now on the other hand if you a messy motherf…. My bad….. if you like mess and thrive in dysfunction then you be will right at home in the state of Victimdom. I get it though. It’s easier to follow the crowd. It’s easier to go along with foolishness to keep the spotlight off of you. It takes work to love and accept someone flaws and all. It’s unnerving to have people see you for who you really are when you don’t even really like what you see in the mirror. However, that gives no one an excuse to take their insecurities out on others simply because you are either to lazy or too scared to do anything about them. In my – the humblest of opinions -the only person that can fix what’s going on with you or what you feel is wrong with you is you (with assistance from the Most High of course). That’s where having the proper perspective of yourself and the world around you proves to be extremely essential.
As for me, I’m a contextualist. My perspective of the world is rooted in the Word of God but is most definitely in tune with the fact that we live in a different world than Christ lived in over 2000 years ago. I believe that everything that occurs to us in this life has its place in it. The good as well as the bad. For from the good we excel and progress while from the bad if we pay close enough attention we learn valuable lessons and eventually move forward being better equipped for what lies ahead. Sadly, a great many us don’t learn from our negative experiences because we allow them to consume us and distort our focus. I count myself amongst that number on occasion. However, I have what I find and fear most don’t have… a moral code. There are just some things I just won’t do to get ahead. I will never intentionally suffer any harm to befall anybody and I seek to please no one but the Most High. I put others before myself (sometimes to my detriment) and I always try to be impeccable with my word. Understanding the power of the tongue I always try to use kind words and tell the truth. And last but certainly not least, I always strive to make anything better than it was when I encountered it by sharing of what I have been blessed with. Now with all that said…. Please understand that I am not perfect by any means. I have made my share of bonehead mistakes and have not always been able to WWJD. However, with maturity I have realized that it is much better to live a life rooted in positivity than to go through life constantly focusing on what’s wrong with it. Sure it’s ok to want better for yourself, but not at the expense of being ungrateful for what you already have. I know all too well of how one can lose sight of how extremely blessed they are based on their current predicament. I have had to endure some pretty disappointing and disheartening things in this life. Things that easily could make one pretty much lose sight of the bigger picture. To me the big picture is living a fruitful and productive life and empowering others to do the same. To me, this is the best perspective one could have of life. For you see, It’s not the tangibles that make this life worth living (although if used in the proper context, they can definitely enhance one’s quality of life) but it’s the intangibles that truly bring us peace and serenity.
So if you don’t take anything else from this entry, please understand that one’s perspective could be the difference between an enjoyable life and a miserable one. Decisions made without the proper forethought and insight can end up doing you more harm than good. Trust me, I know. I’m telling you what I know from what I have experienced, not something I’ve only heard about or only read in some book. Working to get your vision clear in order to have the proper perspective requires a great amount of time and effort. The enemy understands this and undoubtedly will provide you with several opportunities to take the easy way out because this sort of undertaking truly is not for the faint of heart. Yet know this… if you stay the course and free your thinking, there is nothing in this world that you can’t have.
