Sometimes
your medicine bottle has on it, “Shake well before using.” That is what God has
to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are usable
– Vance Havner
Life.
You can live it or allow it to live you.
There are times when this life deals a blow so severe
that we think that there is no coming back from it. It is in times like these
where I have had to employ a tactic my Dad would always tell me to use.... I
can hear him say “Shake it off, man! You’ll be all right!” No matter the
damage, no matter how long the convo, no matter how pissed I got at him for at
what at the time I thought was his lack of concern…. that was always his last
piece of advice. To this day no matter how hectic life gets, no matter how
large or personal the offense, Dad's words always come to mind.
Now upon first hearing my tale you may be like “Dag,
dude’s dad was super cold”. You had to know him though. He had this really cool
way of being tough but being compassionate. It was a nice balance once you
figured out his approach. It took me years to understand what he was trying to
do to me and for me. He was trying to toughen me up but he was also trying to
make sure that I understood why. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens/ early twenties
that I understood him and his version of “tough love”. I thought dude was super
insensitive for the longest time. Until I discovered just how cold and cruel
this world can be. At that very moment, every lesson that man tried to teach me
became crystal clear. I remember a lot of the arguments and scraps we had all
because I was determined that I had all the answers and that he was just being
unreasonable. Then life smacked me dead in the grill. Needless to say, I now
appreciate every single ounce of tough love my dad gave me.
Now I prefaced my entry this way because in order to
bounce back from the blows that this life deals you, you have to be mentally
strong and grounded. You have to have the ability look beyond where you are and
what has happened because sometimes the only way to move forward and move on
after disappointment and discouragement is to focus on the prospect of a better
tomorrow. This requires mental toughness and strong core belief in one's self and
their ability to overcome whatever this life throws at them. This was the type of person my dad tried to
raise me to be. To be adaptable and mentally flexible enough to embrace and
endure change. In order to survive in a world like the one in which we inhabit, one has to have “thick skin” and I’m not as much talking anatomically as I am your mental and emotional constitution. If
this world even senses the slightest bit of weakness in your make up, it will
chew you up and spit you out. A fragile mindset in today’s society is the
equivalent to shedding blood in shark infested waters and trust me when I say
that the world is full of predators out there that feed off of the weakness and
mental instability of others. You see it every day. The pimp/ prostitute
dynamic, the battered wife, the henpecked husband, the woman that thinks she
has to sleep with every brother she meets in order to keep them around, the
brother that thinks he has to spend himself into the poor house to make a woman
happy and keep her around, the person that lets other’s opinions of them
determine how they live their lives, etc. Over the course of my life I have met
every one of the aforementioned people and have had my share of disappointments
and setbacks as well. Some that barely slowed my momentum and others that I
thought I could never and would never come back from. For me the thing that
kept me from throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel was my faith in the
Most High and my father’s words of encouragement…”Shake it off, man! You’re
gonna be all right.”
Now I have to be one hundred percent open and honest with
you. As much as I would like to sit here and say how much I have always known
who I am and Whose I am, I truthfully and honestly couldn’t even sit here and
lie to you like that. When I tell you I am the ultimate example of what
Almighty God can do with a mess of a man. God is the Definitive Potter and if
you ask me, I have been one of his most difficult pieces of work to mold and
shape into something even remotely resembling what He wants or needs it to resemble.
I am most definitely a work in progress. Nevertheless, the wonderful thing
about God’s molding and shaping us into what He wants and needs us to be is the
process itself. Not always pleasant, but always perfect. His thoughts are not
our thoughts and his ways are not our ways (Praise God!). The things I have had
to endure as result of God’s molding process have been both restorative and
most certainly at times difficult. Most change is …. simply because we as human
beings dislike being taken out of our comfort zone. However in my humble
opinion, one’s mental mindset is the key component in enduring and overcoming
the most difficult of times. You can’t and won’t shake off anything if you can
see yourself coming out on top. Some people unfortunately have a very negative
mindset and their entire existence is one of unhappiness. They can’t see the
good in anyone or anything and try their best to make sure that everyone around
them is just as miserable as they are. You will never …. ever… find peace,
realize your true potential, or live the life you were destined to live as long
as you allow these sorts of people to remain in your life. Misery indeed loves
company and with that being said you most definitely have to watch the company
you keep.
A friend once told me that in order to have something
that you have never had you have to do something that you have never done. What
do you want? You sure? What type of life do you want to lead? Are you content
with your current quality of life? Do the people around you encourage you to do
better or are they constantly telling you what you can’t and/ or shouldn’t do?
Are you ready for a change? Well I have great news for you. The only thing and
the only person keeping you from having everything you want in this life is .....wait for it......you. There is a lesson that I continue to revisit that I try to share with
people whenever I get the opportunity. Learn how to get out of your own way. I
promise you I was a major violator of this principle. I was constantly getting
in the way of my own happiness. I would let circumstances and other’s opinions
influence various areas of my life. Even though I had the “Shake it Off”
principle down for the most part, I would still let the little of things
discourage me to the point of giving up and giving in. Then one day an older
gentleman that I barely even knew laid the simplest but most profound piece of
knowledge on me. He told me (what I would later find out was a quote from Dr.
Seuss – yeah - the Cat in a Hat dude):
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
These words changed my life. For you see this is exactly
the mindset one has to have to shake off every negative thought, word or deed
one may encounter over the course of their life. Now I understand living life
on nobody’s terms but your own can be a difficult proposition. We encounter
people that will go out of their way to break our spirits and try to convince
us that we have it all wrong. You will meet people that for no reason
whatsoever will hate the ground you walk on simply because you choose to live
free of other’s opinion of you and because you simply do not and will not
subscribe to the status quo. You will be black balled and ostracized simply
because your beliefs aren’t popular or “fashionable”. Nevertheless, I implore
you to never settle for anything less than what life has to offer simply because
you wish to “fit in”. The trait of a truly mature person is that person’s
ability to take what life throws at them and make the best of the situation
knowing that in the end if they stay true to their beliefs and to all that’s
inside of them, they will be all the better for having experienced it.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him and are called according to his purpose – Romans 8:28
Always remember…If God allows it, He will sustain you in
it. If God provided it, he will provide you with the resources to keep it. If
He takes it away or allows it to be lost, it was never meant for you in the
first place and He definitely has something bigger and better in store for
you. You may lose a battle or two …..
but as long as you keep fighting and don’t allow the thought of defeat to
paralyze you, victory is yours. So don’t be dismayed or discouraged. Don’t drop
your head or throw your hands up in defeat or surrender.
Just shake it off… I promise you everything is going to
be all right.
