Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom
Viktor E. Frankl
The number one condition or plain of existence that we take for granted on a regular basis is the ability to be free or to live our lives as we see fit without fear of other’s opinions or biases about who or what we are or believe. Today it appears that one is only allowed to live “free” as long as those freedoms or rights don’t impose or disrupt the status quo.
Freedom is defined as the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. Notice that it did not say “as long what you have to speak, think or act upon hurts someone feelings or disrupt the status quo”. I have been told on numerous occasions that I have lived my life in a manner that has been acceptable and respectable to those around me. Sometimes to the detriment of my own peace of mind (Voluntarily, of course). The funny thing is that we tend to forfeit our rights to lead a life free of strife and unnecessary drama because we have this warped sense of allegiance to people and/ or their ideals. As a recently converted free – thinking individual, I now realize I lived my life that way. The wonderful thing about introspection is that it allows you to “keep it 100” with yourself. Now don’t be deceived. You are not going to always like what you discover about yourself. As a matter of fact, if you take a long hard look at yourself and love every single, solitary thing about yourself then you are either content with who you are and/or your status in life (which is absolutely fine by the way) or flat out lying to yourself (which for the record is absolutely not ok). In either case, introspection is the first step to obtaining freedom from living a life of involuntary or voluntary emotional, mental, physical or any other form of servitude.
Now I’ll be the first to admit that the price of true freedom is a costly one. The beautiful thing about this life we have all been blessed to lead is that as long as we are true to ourselves and the things in which we believe that the price paid is well worth it. A wise man once told me that almost everything that is worth anything in this life usually has to be obtained through some type of sacrifice. I have had to make my share of sacrifices on the alter of personal freedom. There are some places that I no longer visit, there are a great many things that brought me an immense amount of pleasure that I have had to forego, there are a great many purchases that I have had to delay, a great number of relationships I have had to end, my list of sacrifices to live the life I wish to live is a pretty lengthy one. The beautiful thing about my list though is that I would not change one single thing on it. Everything I have had to give up to live a life free of restrictions (self imposed or otherwise) was well worth it. If we all truly honest with ourselves, we have all had to make some sort of sacrifice to be happy, productive, fruitful, serene, and transparent. Pick an adjective, it probably fits.
Over the course of my life I have discovered that the key to true freedom is being willing to give up that which you are the most afraid to lose. I have seen my share of examples of people willingly forfeiting their emotional freedom in pursuit of lofty goals and aspirations. The problem with a lot of them however is that although their intentions may have been completely innocent and noble, the true reason behind their sacrifice is or was improperly rooted. For example the woman that has a child to keep a man, the man that spends their hard earned money on an unappreciative person or significant other, the son or daughter that forgoes his or her dream to continue the family business, the person that marries someone in hopes of the union changing the object of their affection, the person that passes up opportunity after opportunity to have better quality of life simply because they are afraid of upsetting loved ones. The potential scenarios are endless. In each one of the aforementioned scenarios a sacrifice was made. Nevertheless, typically when these types of sacrifices are made they are rarely ever appreciated or reciprocated. So the simple answer (although usually easier said than done) is to live your life. Choose to live your life and live it unapologetically and free of regret. Live your life in a manner pleasing to Almighty God. I promise you that God honors effort and obedience. However, for those of you that don’t believe as I believe, live your life according to your moral code and as you deem fit understanding that actions have consequences. So by all means....Do you. As long as you are fine with those consequences albeit pleasant or unpleasant. Just don’t wine or have a pity party if things don’t exactly go the way you planned. Karma is not a respecter of persons. Regardless of your social status, race, creed or color, eventually what’s done in the dark eventually comes to light. So with that being said, take solace in the fact that freedom comes from the fact that once an indiscretion is public and the corresponding consequences and damage control is done, you’re free. For only God can judge you. Other people’s opinions don’t mean a thing. We sometimes get so caught up in what people will think about what we do, how we live, the things we say, etc. Nonetheless at the end of all things the only opinions that matter is your opinion of yourself and your creator’s opinion of you and your actions. To quote a very popular reality show drama queen, everybody else are simply a “non mutha _ _ _ _ in’ factor”.
The wonderful thing about true freedom is that it encompasses so many variables of the human condition. Always remember that freedom and choice are truly synonymous. For you can choose to be subservient to circumstances or people’s opinions and biases or you can choose to rise above it all (All the hate, all the slander, all the ugliness that comes from strife and dysfunction) and stand firm on your beliefs and convictions against the stiffest of opposition. Nonetheless, just know that if you choose to live free, know that you will have those that detest you for even wanting better for yourself because as the old adage so aptly states "misery truly loves company". The more you strive to live free and shed the shackles of oppression and strife, the more your circle will change. People you once thought were your friends can quickly become your worst enemy simply because you want to leave the pity party and choose a life of serenity and fruitfulness. The most disheartening part to the whole thing is that those people that are trying so hard to keep you from being a better person could be using that energy to improve their own quality of life. Instead they choose to be messy and petty sowing seeds of negativity and dysfunction. Now this next part is where the true test begins. We have to pray for those people who wish nothing but harm and the worst for us. We are mandated to return their hatefulness and pettiness towards us with kindness. Now don’t get it twisted. I am in no way telling you to be anybody’s doormat. Some people unfortunately will never change. Some people are unfortunately just set in their ways (for better or worse). If someone is just content in remaining hateful and spiteful towards you, sever ties with them and move on with your life. No one in this universe is worth your tears. As a matter of fact I’m gonna help you out a little bit. See I was raised Southern Baptist and at the end of every church service the pastor gives what's called the “Benediction”. So when somebody wishes to leave you because you are trying to better yourself or is just putting forth every concerted effort to stunt your growth just remember the following words and exit stage left:
May the Lord watch, between you and me, when we’re absent from one another … Amen.
Ahhhhhhh….Now doesn't that feel better? It should. Dropping dead weight always has a way of lifting the spirits and replenishing the soul.
